2009 February — Tatter Scoops

Sweetheart, I’m Not A Rich Bitch!

24 Feb posted by Maureen

Lately I’ve been glorifying the magic of Facebook. Who knew I could reconnect with old long lost friends down from Kindergarten to College? Amazing huh?! Even on Friendster I didn’t connect to this many friends. Reunion(s) has been great and it sure is nice to stay in touch after all these years again.

However, things aren’t always as rosy as it seems. After two small ‘conversations’ with two different people from my past I was intrigued to write this.

First conversation:

X: “It’s just too difficult to go places with xx small kids *with complaining tones*
Me: “Do you have any nanny?”
X: “I have two, one for each kid. It must be so much easier for you, right?”
Me: Biting my tongue trying not to say “Sweetie, you called that hard with two nannies around 24/7?!!!!” then came up with an excuse that I have to go.

Second conversation:

Y: “So you’re rich now!”
Me: “What?”
Y: “Well, you married a bule*. You must have a great life like Ibu-ibu pejabat**”
Me: “Huh?” gulping for air at the shallow comment “No, my husband is not a millioner.”
Y: Insistently saying unnecessary comments about how easy my life now and how she still have to work her ‘behind’ off.

WOW! Surely those blows came when I least expected it. Well, these two are not my closest friends in the past and it’s been ages since the last time we met in persons so they might not fully know the kind of person I am today. But their comments can be categorized as one of the most common things mix marriage couples have to hear in Indonesia, among many discourteous ones out there.

Although these kinds of comments won’t stop me from feeling excited about seeing some of them while I’m still in Jakarta, I need to brace myself to hear more of these and better yet be prepared with a smart come back. Any ideas?

What amazed me the most is how much these people have no clue whatsoever that life doesn’t automatically become any easier just because you’re married to a white man. Knight in shinning armor? Nope! Doesn’t work that way in real life, sweetie! Being married to a ‘bule’ doesn’t mean all I do every single day is sitting prettily, adoring my well-manicured-weighed-down-by-golf-ball-size-diamonds-stuffed fingers.

Living in Indonesia where hiring hands are cheap and easily accessible, mothers can have a much easier life when they have a kid(s). Not to mention family helps but not out there, sweetheart! Surely not in the expensive country such as America where we, Indonesia women who happened to be married to an American have to adjust to the way of living. Maids, personal drivers, live-in nannies are only for those rich people.

“Being married to a bule means you have to learn to ‘membabu-buta***’” was an insider jokes that sometimes my fellow mix marriages friends shared with me. For those of you who can’t take a joke, let me make it clear that we do what we have to do for our own families, right? So yeah, being the driver, the chef, the housekeeper, the nanny comes with the territory of our status and personally, I enjoyed doing that although it is tiring at the end of the day (Standing ovation to my friends who have more than one kid!) Again, it’d be nice to have all the helps we can get like what’s available here but it does come with a personal satisfaction to do these things for the people you love.

The glamorous life that these people might perceive is so far fetched from reality. Impossible to change these kinds of images they painted themselves, guess I’ll just need to bring a pair of ear plugs when I meet them people and grow a thicker skin.

Note:

* bule = white guy

** Ibu-ibu pejabat = wives of important government officials

*** Membabu-buta = a slang term my friend and I came up with meaning we’re working hard like a maid.

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Filed Under: Mix Marriage

First Reflexology Experience

19 Feb posted by Maureen

Yesterday, I finally was able to ‘sneaked’ out to had a reflexology done after Lil’ A went to sleep a little early than usual.

Last month I went to the reflexology place after he was asleep only to rushed back home because he had woken up and was looking for me. Bummer because the guy just started on my left foot LOL.

This place was introduced by my brother who visits the place regularly. It wasn’t far from my parents’ house. Again, I didn’t bring my camera but I’ll try to snap a few pictures of the place some other time. From the outside, the place looks kinda shabby, the lobby or what’s lack of it was also small yet the place is always packed. Mind you this is not a luxurious spa kind of place. I went there 3 times already just to be turned down because they were full so booking in advance is good (by phone).

They have two types of rooms available, one big open room with 9 beds (well, it’s more like recliner chairs really) and sheer curtains for privacy. One can always book the VIP rooms that will fit 2 people with just a little bit more money. They keep the room dimly lit with individual lamps on the wall next to your chair, they burn aromatherapy candle for each clients as well. All the masseuses are man so I was glad because I like my massage to be hard not too soft.

First of they started by soaking your feet inside a small bucket with warm water and salt. Then the joy begins LOL. It’s relaxing, really!

According to this site, reflexology is the application of appropriate pressure by thumbs and fingers to specific points and areas on the feet, hands, or ears in order to improve the recipient’s health. However, the way it was done in that place wasn’t only feet, hands or ears. They basically give you a massage but you don’t have to take your clothes off and yes the pressures were there which felt amazing. The last part from the whole experience is they’ll ask you to sit up and they’ll massage your neck and back some more. They’ll also offer if you want your head and face massaged. Love it! Before you leave, they’ll offer if you want to drink “Wedang Jahe” (something like a Ginger tea, made of boiled ginger with palm sugar), I opted out simply because I’m not a huge fan of the traditional drink.

For 90 minutes I only got to spent 30,000 Rupiah ($2.52) cheap huh? Don’t forget to tip the masseuse! Sure is a lot cheaper and nicer than the massage I had in Guangzhou, China. Don’t worry about the non-5-star-spa-quality-looking-place, just close your eyes and enjoy the 90 minutes, so relaxing!

PS: Pic. from SteadyHealth

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Filed Under: Jakarta Livin', Musings

Jakarta’s Nightlife – Revisited

11 Feb posted by Maureen

Bats

Last Saturday night my long lost BFF from college days and I decided to check out the night life in Jakarta again. After being ‘absent’ for over 5 years, it was exciting on my part as well as curiosity induced to experience what used to be part of my youthful days.

Dragonfly was the first ‘spot’ we visited. It’s a pretty nice place, with modern design and lively music (DJ only) and the crowds were mixed between Indonesians and Westerners. Maybe we came there too early but the place wasn’t as crowded as I thought it’d be especially on Saturday night.

Tanqueray no. 10 was there so I was a happy camper! LOL! A little chat with one of the waiter revealed that there’s been a shortage on liquors in Jakarta as of late last year due to the government new rules. This discussion started when I asked him where I can buy Tanqueray no. 10 here. Bummer! I should’ve get me some Bombay Sapphire (or Tanqueray!) in China.

One of the girls that suppose to come and join us there cancelled because she wasn’t feeling too well so we decided to go to Bats. It’s been over 5 years since the last time I was there and boy, the changes were huge! The band was off keys and the sound system was a let down (read: music is louder than the vocalist’s voice!). As for the guys I whispered to my GF “Since when Bats become a club for the olds, the fats, the baldies, and the obnoxious!” (didn’t mean to be rude here people, but as far as my eyes can see that’s the kind of guys I saw.) Seems like those young, attractive guys I once saw there many years ago had tripled in ages or simply vanished LOL. The girls? Hmmmph…where should I start? LMAO! Let’s just say that they have gotten younger by the years and desperate in their actions to catch a predator…ooops I mean to catch a Bule.

I could write a whole new blog about the girls so let’s just not talk too much about it for now. Save the best for the last, right? LOL!

There is a new touch there that clearly didn’t exist the last time I was there with my GFs, it’s some dancer they hired to dance on top of the bar and on the stage while the band took their break. I would presume that they’re hired by the bar since they wear something similar.

Being absent from the boom-boom-bang-bang world for so long, I catches myself yawning several times and didn’t recognize most of the songs played. Boy, sure do made me feel like a gazillion years old, rite?! My GF, had a blast making fun of me because every time I don’t recognize a song they play I’ll just sit and yawn. Well, sorry girl…it did passed my bedtime LMAO!

We had a little incident there when an obnoxious drunk Bule (not to mentioned, old) tapped my shoulder and told me to move out of my stool. Between tired and bored I yelled “Excuse me?????!!!!!” which he responded only by yelling louder into my ear, he must’ve think that I’m deaf! “I don’t take orders from stranger! Besides I’ve been sitting here long before you and your parties moved forward into our table!” Apparently one of his two ‘chicks’ must’ve need to rest her bums. He looked puzzled but then quickly said something to the girls. My GF was furious of how rude that guy was to me but I told her its no use to argue with a dumb a** like that. So, I dropped it, he didn’t get the stool btw! LOL!

Despite me feeling like a hundred years old and that dim-witted bule, we did have fun together. Told my GF that at least it gives me something to write about and yes I have to admit that I am getting too old for that! Gin & tonic (preferably Tanqueray No.10, plz!), some good music, plus great friends, sitting at a lounge somewhere sounds more like my taste now.