Blog Revamp And Guest Post

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As you can see here, I had decided – against my brain capacity maybe – to tackle redesigning my blog solo! Gasp…yes, you read that right. The old design was self made using Thesis but this time I am using a new platform, the famous Genesis.

A friend of mine, a fellow Indonesian blogger – travel junky – photographer enthusiast – Miss Lai Lai tweeted me:

She basically said NO but being the worst critique, I feel I need a new design, a fresh new look and what better timing than doing it now while I’m on my break? So I’ve been wearing my geeky hat – read glasses – on since yesterday and ended up with some headaches from coding but there sure is a different kind of satisfactions from doing it alone. Do excuse the mess.

On a lighter note, today I’m guest posting over at A String of Pearls, a lovely ezine web made by a group of amazing women. There, I’m sharing  my inner war about where home really is . So do stop by and read my post. Promise, I’d love you!

Vlog Isn’t My Thing

Been awhile since I last participate on a meme and Kate from Mommy Monologues has team up with some super ladies to create this brand spanking new Vlog Talk.

So here’s my first ever Vlog – picked the first prompt inspired by Liz from A Belle, A Bean and A Chicago Dog (I miss pronounced your blog, Liz! – justify why I shouldn’t vlog). Hope I won’t scared you off.

Check out the rest of the Vlog-ing Ladies!

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When Indonesian & French Collided

It was a cool autumn day. The trees are changing colors and the humidity is pretty much gone.

Two women sitting in a café, one with a cappuccino and the other with an espresso although she doesn’t really drink coffee, she was kind enough to meet up for coffee.

Coffee friends
Creative Commons Licensephoto credit: namuit

They had ‘met’ online and bonded really well with similarities that drew them together. Such as being immigrants to the US of A, being married to Americans, both have boys, and most of all, both loves blogging. One is a French born and one is Indonesian,  it didn’t take long for the friendship to grow.

So tell me, did you ever get that famous culture shock moments when you first got here?” asked the Indonesian girl.

Maryline drew a smile, her mind wondering back to some years ago “You bet! I remember the overwhelming sensation of wide open space, a different relationship to distances, and the blatant demonstration of bigger is better. Gigantic soul-less shopping centers with the largest parking lots I have ever seen. 6 or 7-lane highways with cars competing for the most wheels you can have, the most leg room and the largest cargo space.”

Oh yeah…I know what you means!” they both smiled in agreements only immigrants can understands.

Maryline continues, “It was physically and emotionally overwhelming. I was missing the quaint towns, the proximity of things that belong together (and have for centuries!), the feeling of warmth and having-your-things together when you can easily wrap your arms around them. We have a French saying that says “The smaller, the cuter” (Plus c’est petit, plus c’est mignon). There is some truth to that!

They went on to talk about this. Comparing how things are between the great US of A and their own home countries. There are of course things that they both miss but they also love their adopted country.

Hey, is that true that French language is the sexiest in the world? Well, I have friends who thinks that’s true!” asked Maureen, remembering her college friends and how eager they were in learning how to say I love you and I miss you perfectly in French.

The French beauty threw her head back and started to laugh before continuing “It is?? I had no idea! I thought Spanish was, especially Spanish from Spain. Muy caliente!” More laugther from both.

The chit-chat turns into the blogsphere and their love for it. Maryline’s blog although still in infancy has grown so much in just a mere 3 months. How many blogs can reach that points? It truly is amazing. So Maureen just has to asked her “What’s your secret, girl? Your blog really has taken off in such a short time!

Again, Maryline laugh – and her laugh is so contagious “My blog has grown a lot? You’re kidding!? I am not sure what you are comparing it to, but in the absolute, yes, it’s grown. More readers, more posts, more subject matters. I think blogging integrity is key. If you say you blog about your life, don’t make it up. I’d also add that consistency is a must have to establish a loyal and coherent readership. If you pick a theme, stick to it. As long as you are honest and genuine, then connections will happen. I enjoy blogging a lot more now that I take more loosely — low stress, yet high expectations but no sweats over stats every day or must-post-daily. Not worth it!

“Surprisingly I can now go an entire day without logging on to Google Analytics! :)

Both laughing again “Hah, yeah the Analytics, isn’t it addicting to see those numbers go up? But you’re right I love that…integrity is key!

Maryline has been writing with just that, integrity and her heart. Her posts are genuine, sometimes comical but maybe that’s how they can get along so well in that small café being that’s the first time these two meet in persons because she’s real. She’s genuine and her writing depicts her personality.

She then shared her most fun and dear posts “The most fun: Because I love lists and this one ought to be viral!! 10 Email Tips to Maximize Counter-Performance We have a tie for the most dear: After the Butterflies Leave and No Domestic Diva.

These two shared their hopes and dreams for their ‘babies’ aka their blogs,  “I hope not hosted by Bluehost anymore. They’ve been very unreliable.” Mutual understanding laughter here “But seriously, I see it being the same, just me. Me and my cultural facts, my silly analogies with marriage and sex, my attempts at staying in shape with running and triathlons, my motherhood testimonials. Maybe with a new design? I would love the help of a designer to personalize my header and develop a color theme. For now, I am just continuing my work with words.

Amen, sistah!” Both agree that no matter where their blogs are heading they would stick with being true to their voices.

They switched gears to talk about the inevitable, motherhood, specially mothering mixed culture kids. Maryline has been speaking French exclusively to her son since he was born to maintain the balance of the two influencing cultures. She has a really cute nickname for her boy “Poisson”. Realizing it or not, she’s been doing One Parent One Language method in raising Poisson.

It’s hard because when other people get involved in our conversations I automatically switch to English. I should make an effort to continue speaking French, so that my husband and friends can also pick up some French :)  Overall it’s working out well because my son and I spend a fair amount of time one one one, and we only speak French then. I only read him French books, and sing French songs. He loves music!

True story for you: we’ve had two different friends who’ve watched Poisson recently as well as our caregiver tell us that they hear a French intonation in his baby speech. I cannot wait for him to talk more!!

That’s exciting isn’t? To think that our kiddos will master two languages (if not more) will really benefit them in the long run.

Again, both nodded and smiled knowingly.

The chats continues, they talked, they laughed and most importantly their friendship grows.

Thanks for being such a wonderful friend, Maryline. I hope one day – we will have a chance to grab those coffees and doing just this!

This has been my week 4 submission for Back 2 School, Back 2 Blogging.

Kludgy Mom

Want My Mojo Back

This is week 3 at Kludgy Mom’s Back To School Back To Blogging – in my defense I jumped in the wagon at week 2.Kludgy Mom

With how things are in my life, I am forced to rearranged pretty much everything. From my struggle to find a job down to this blog. Yes, like it or not this blog will have to change as well.

It all started as a blog about a mix-marriage couple living back in Jakarta…

Now it would be all about Lil’ A and me and this new path of single motherhood and all its glory.

When I first opened up about going through a divorce here, it was one of the hardest thing I had to published here. I wrote, edited, edited, edited, wrote some more, I cried, I triple questions my decision.

Taking that 3 weeks break from blogging, I had abandoned this blog and my ranks plummeted, my bounce rate went up but at the time I didn’t really care. Now that I am back, I realized I need to pour my heart and soul back to this baby again. Getting myself back into that rhythm again of blogging, networking, commenting will takes some times.

Honestly, I feel like I had lost my mojo in blogging after taking that break.

As much as writing & blogging has been therapeutic to me, I still find myself not investing as much time as I used to. Maybe it’s psychological, I’m not sure – I have stop seeing my counselor months ago. Realizing I had fell off the wagon of happy-family-blogger may also got something to do with it. Been mulling about this as to why I don’t have the energy to do all the networking I need.

Prior to ‘coming out’, this blog has been my baby…my distractions from the pain…it made the days goes by quicker than if I just sit at my parents house doing close to nothing. The hope to fix my marriage was still there.

Now that it is obvious that’s not going to happen I know my blog needs a whole new directions. Yes, I would still blog about being a mother to a toddler who will soon starts school, about living in Jakarta which now will be permanently, about any future travels. Yet realizing that I had fell into that single mom bloggers will take sometimes to sink in.

There is nothing wrong with single mom bloggers…actually, I need to start finding more of them and networking. They’ve been in my shoes before so their wisdom might help me through.

My focus for Tatter Scoops had changed.

AutumnCreative Commons License photo credit:Simon Peckham

For now, I write about the pain, the grieving, the letting go, the sadness to help me cope with it. Your comments has been giving me strength and for that alone I will be forever thankful. Long term wisely, I hope this blog will help other women especially Indonesians who is in the same situation.

Just so you know, although in big cities like Jakarta where divorce rates has been on the spike, most Indonesians still have this negative stigma about it. Whether they admit it or not. There will always be judgment. There’s negative image to carry the tittle as ‘divorcee’. There will be gossips and talks about how ‘she failed to keep her husband’ or ‘why did she give up so easily?’ that kinds of talks. Maybe that’s why I haven’t find that many – if there is any – Indonesian single mom blogs so I guess that niche would fit me perfectly now.

I’m sure there will be highs and lows throughout this journey and I will be using this blog to share it with the world then maybe someday I could read back and see how much I have grow as a person, as a woman, as a mother.

Have you ever feel like you has lost your mojo? Any ideas on how to get them back?

I Was That Fat Girl

high school

Looking back, High School days wasn’t my favorite times of school. It wasn’t the worst but it came close.

Here’s why…

Can you spot me?

This is the very reasons why I have close to zero pictures of myself during those three years.

I was that awkward girl who is fat, curly frizzy hair with serious acne issues. I was that weird kid who came to Jakarta for just that, high school. In most kids eyes I was an outsider and literally, I was one since I’m not from Jakarta. My family was still living in that small mining town of Borneo.

My school mates were city kids, they follow the trends. The girls have their tartan pleated skirts shorter than what the school permits and still got away with it because they were the ‘it girls’. Some of them even started their modeling career back then so they were famous.

The first two years were difficult. I lived with my aunt who lives so far from school it took me 3 buses ride to get there on time. That meant, I had to leave at the crack of dawn, around 5:30am. It was rough.

Only took me two years to quite settle in and found some great friends who were not members of the popular groups. It was during my last year that I started to gained a bit more self-confidence. Yes, I was still fat but my classmates were awesome. We had tons of fun together. We skipped class together one day resulted in all of us being ‘baked’ under the hot sun for several hours by our teacher. Our class caused one teacher to cry. We all went to an amusement park just a day after we passed our graduation finals. We were the bad ones and proud of them.

It was also during the last year when our English teacher started to notice my talent of the subject or maybe it was obvious that my classmates would bug me for answers on every quiz. They all wanted to sit close to me. That ended when our teacher decided to moved me to her desk, yes…the teacher’s desk right in front of the class room. It was funny because some of my classmates would moans when she said “Maureen, come sit here!”.

In high school I never date a guy…of course I had some crushes but they were just that, silly high school crushes on guys that never notice my existence other than she’s the girl who’s pretty good at English subject. So if for others high school days were the time where they first experiences dating and falling in love, I was a lonely girl inside.

When I went to my first small high school reunion, 99% of my old classmates didn’t recognize me and that felt good! ;)

So…in high school I was that fat ugly girl!

PS: This has been Kludgy Mom’s Back to School Back to Blogging week 2 assignment.

Weely Roundup – 4th Week of August

banneralex

August almost come to an end, how crazy is that?

I haven’t been online much since last week thanks to the nasty cold Lil’ A is having that caused a scary spiking fever for two days in a row. Not only that I think the darn cold made a hit on me too. With a sick toddler and a pounding headache, staying unplugged was the way to go.

Anyway here are some updates of our lives besides the darn cold.

    • If you happen to be at one of the 5 stars hotels in Jakarta – you might be seeing this picture. Yep, that’s Lil’ A picture on a banner. His uncle who has been abusing his nephew’s pictures ‘borrowed’ some for his hotel’s birthday package promotion. The original picture was taken by me on Lil’ A’s second birthday party back in Florida.
    • Lil’ A’s pictures also made a cameo appearance on Time Out Jakarta magazine for their August edition. No, he’s not doing professional modeling or some sorts. They just got interested in using his pictures.
    • My father is recovering greatly after they did some laser on his eye. If you remember, he had some problems with one of the blood vessel on his right eye and the doctor suggested laser treatment. He’s still in Johannesburg right now but recovering really well. Thank you for all your supports and prayers.
    • Last week I had my first guest post over at Our Mommyhood. Do check it out, it’s my first guest post on an English based site so I was pretty nervous about it.
    • My photos for The Holiday Inn Photo Competition are still up for voting on Facebook until September 12. We’ve been getting pretty good votes in, so if you had vote thank you very much and if you care to vote please follow this link and here’s a screen shot on how to find the tiny vote button. This mama can use some getaway to Bali! ;)

  • From the toddlerhood phase: The boy has been saying that one magic line “I don’t like…“(fill the dots accordingly). Usually it will come out during meal times. “I don’t like veggies!” followed by mouth shut. Can someone tell me that this too shall pass?

How was your week? Did you guys do anything fun on your weekend?

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