Thursday, Mar 11, 2010
Login

Category: Indonesia

7 Fashion NO NOs in Jakarta

Forewarning: This entry is created for entertainment purposes only. If you are easily offended, feel free to close the window or browse along other topics.

After observing some of the fashion trends in Jakarta, I had an idea to put up a list of things you should not try to pull (with some exceptions of course!) in Jakarta.

  1. SKINNY JEANS: Dudes, please do not try to pull the skinny jeans style if you don’t have the built for it. Unless you are a rock star with mile long legs, seeing an average Joe wearing one is just wrong and there is probably only 10% of the population that can wear skinny jeans.
  2. CROCS: Yeah, they look cute on babies and toddlers but when you’re old nothing screams more like a red-neck than a pair of crocks! Also crocs turned to be dangerous because it could get easily got caught on the escalator!
  3. HEAVY COATS & BOOTS: Uhm…unless you want to attempt a heat stroke (or a stinky feet if you’re just wearing the boots!), feel free to look completely out of this planet wearing one in Jakarta.
  4. SHORTS/HOT PANTS: If you have chunky thighs (much likes mine actually) do not wander in the malls wearing a very short short, safe it for the comfort of your own place and save others from feeling nauseated.
  5. MINI SKIRTS: Leave the mini for nicely sculpted legs!
  6. VISIBLE PANTY LINES: Oh yuck, girls…have you ever heard of thongs or seamless panty ? Better investing in one (or two)! Showing the world your panty lines especially if you’re wearing super tight pants (not white! Eeek!) is just a big NO NO!
  7. SCARFS: Unless you are riding a Harley or an ojek (or traveling on a jet plane), wearing one in the heat of Jakarta is simply ridiculous!


When Did Indonesian Women Become An Export Product?

Only two days after I posted the link to the news about Proposed Marriage Bill (RUU) that claim to protect Indonesian women’s welfare by making the future ‘foreign’ husband pay Rp. 500,000,000 (yep that’s million!) or equivalent of 53,792.361 USD as per today’s exchange rate, I got so many replied on my Facebook page.

Apparently, the Religious Department is mulling over this bill again. This bill isn’t new. It was a hot debate topic and had caused strong opposition from Indonesian women back in 2005, many had thought the bill didn’t pass and life goes on. So to hear the bill has been brought to life is well…revolting to say the least!

This Indonesian scholar, Nuning Hallet had written a very good article about the issue and to quote her, she wrote:

“Explanation on Article 142 paragraph 3 of the draft bill mentioned the deposit is to protect Indonesian women should their foreign husband neglected them. Deposit will be return when their marriage reach 10th years anniversary. However, if you look at it from “Familial State” perspective and nationalism based on body politics, I think this is an effort to suppress the number of mix marriages between Indonesian women and foreign men in order to keep the country’s sovereignty.”

And this one:

“Policy regarding women’s interests almost never being discussed at the parliament. Government institution feel they know more about their women’s needs from their manly specs and waited on the women to reacts on those policies. In this case, the draft bill had successfully provoked Indonesian women’s anger, even those who have no relationship with a foreign man. Their biggest concern is the stigmatization of Indonesian women being ‘sold’ by their own country.”

Although from further reading about this topic, it says it will be applied to Muslim Indonesian women, I still feel outraged and disgusted. I may not be Muslim, but I am Indonesian and a woman who thinks these parliament members had completely lost their minds!

They claimed to protect Indonesian women but the way I see it, this is nothing more than one heck of a pimping legalization or giving mail-order bride a government approval! These women are not a commodity, for God’s sake! Should they really earnestly care about Indonesian women welfare then why the heck they don’t even give a damn about Indonesian migrant workers? Lots of them even got killed, tortured, raped, you name it! What about them? Also, let’s not forget about the Indonesian women whose husband just walked out of them without leaving a single cent and married someone else, fathering more child than he could remember. Are these women getting any attention from the government? Hell NO! Is there even an enforced law about Child Support like in many other countries have?

There’s no money in the world that could stop if a husband is really a hidden sadistic person, you know! Think about it, let’s say a really wealthy foreign man who happened to have that kind of money lying around somewhere paid the deposit, took the new wife back to his home country, beat her up like a punching bag, abused her like a slave or worst killed the poor women what the hell is our noble government can do about it? It would just give these guys more reasons to overpower their wife since he had legally ‘bought’ her from her own country.

Dowry is not a new thing in Indonesia, it is engraved in some part of the culture but not something the government should step into and abused, I think. Following Egypt? Ehm, did anyone do their study first? Let me break it down for you, sirs:

  1. In Egypt this rules applies only to those who have 25 years age gap between them.
  2. The foreigner must put 50,000EGP (8,000USD) in the National Bank of Egypt in the wife’s name.

Now that sounds more logical! They are putting the ‘dowry’ in the wife’s name at the national bank, not in their government appointed bank like proposed on this BS bill! 8,000 US Dollars not 50 grand for crying out loud!

As a woman who married a foreign man, I can tell you that more and more Indonesian women rather go to their husband’s country (or somewhere else) just to get marry. Why? Simply because the system here is so not transparent! On paper, the fee to get marry is this much but on the ‘field’ the numbers varies, depending on your ‘contacts’. If this bill passed I can guarantee more of them will leave the country or even abandon their citizenship’s!

Talking from my own experience, the procedure to get marry abroad is more complicated but everything is transparent, the steps by steps are manageable as long as you got all the documentations you needed. I came to the States to married my husband using a K-1 Visa or well known as Fiancé Visa. It was a breezy process to obtain my visa, 3 months and I was well on my way. After the wedding, we applied for my Conditional Resident Permit (Green Card), now this process was more intricate and it ‘only’ took us over a year to get approved, that after we contacted our local state representative (similar to DPR Member here) who took care of our case immediately and with no charge! With that in hands, I can work, I can go to school, I can even buy my own house if I want to. The only thing that separates me from American citizen is I can’t cast my vote!

Sadly, here it is a lot more difficult for Indonesian women to sponsor their own husband to obtain a resident permit. The law even prohibited resident permit’s holder to purchase property here. While the Dual Citizenship law that just passed in 2006 is a great relief for plenty of mix marriages couple, there are still so much that needed to be fixed to honor this kinds of marriage. Needless to say, we got better ‘treatments’ in other countries than our own, which is kinda sad, no?

So, if you really want to protect us here are some ideas:

  1. Education, education, education! Why don’t you provide counseling to Indonesian women about being in an inter-nations marriage? A lot of women are suffering from culture shock when they moved abroad. Educate these women on why a prenuptial agreement is good to have.
  2. Clarify the complicated and sometimes shady bureaucracies of either getting marry in Indonesia or register a marriage.

For sure there are many more that needed to be fix to protect the welfare of our Indonesians women about mix marriage but those two are what popped up in my head right now.


Makassar – Revisited

Knowing that I was born and still have families in Makassar, South Sulawesi, DH decided to took us along with him for one of the outstation audit program. Since my mom and bothers couldn’t make it, I took my aunt with us.

We suppose to leave Jakarta at 4:30 PM but around 10:00 AM, DH called and told me an accident had happened with one of their fleet so he will have to stay behind and took care of things but he will try to hop on the last flight to Makassar that night or the first flight out in the morning. Thanks God my aunt was there! Our flight was delayed for almost an hour and it’s really hard keeping a plane crazed little boy to stay put at the gate. I was in a bit of a foul mood after knowing DH can’t come with us and I was worried that he won’t be able to make it after all, so when a guy cut me right in front of the cashier in a small café I really can’t help but asking him “Are you in a hurry, Sir?” he looked puzzled and said “No…” then I snapped at him “Then why are you cutting me off? I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m waiting in line here before you came out of nowhere?!!!” Gosh, I hate people like this and I don’t care if you’re way older than me, if you can’t wait in line and cut me off I’ll voice my objections! Same thing happened when we were called for boarding, my Aunt was holding Little A’ when a woman just cut right in front of her and pushed them aside. “Hey! Pushing your way to the plane won’t make you get to Makassar any faster, won’t it????!!!” I yelled at that inconsiderate woman! Good Lord!

We had to do a 15 minutes transit in Surabaya. I never been to Surabaya’s Adiscipto airport before, but OMG that place was filthy! I mean FILTHY with garbage cans overflows and scattered garbage on the floor of their waiting area. We reached Sultan Hasanuddin Airport in Makassar after 9:00 PM local time. Someone from the airline was already there at the bottom stairs to pick us up. He handed our luggage tags to another guy and we were ushered inside the arrival terminal where my Aunt Jane, her husband Uncle Ferdy and their daughter Ella greeted us. I was impressed with the new airport, it was modern and big.

After the staff collected our entire luggage, we parted ways with my Aunts. They went to go get dinner then meet me back at the hotel. The staffs drove me and Lil’ A to the hotel, I wasn’t familiar with the roads anymore but I was flabbergasted when we got off the new toll road and passed rows after rows of pubs and clubs with so many ‘chicks’ looking for their ‘job’. Too bad I couldn’t reach my camera from my bag since Lil’ A fell asleep on my lap. Never seen a red light district in Makassar before but then again I haven’t been there for ages.

The staffs took us to Sahid Hotel, it’s an old hotel but it looks pretty nice on the outside and their lobby. Check-in was a breeze but I was greeted by an unpleasant smells when we stepped out of the elevator on the 4th floor. The room smells like old closet that you haven’t open in years! Since Little A and I were obviously too tired after the trip, I didn’t even bother to take any pictures or ask for another room, heck we didn’t even take a shower as tired as we were. The carpet was so dirty (proof showing on Lil’ A’s feet!), the bathroom smells so old and rusty. I couldn’t really sleep that night because the smell was strong but Lil’ A slept the whole night through. In the morning, I found out that the hot water is not running and the old tub was clogged. “We are doing some maintenance work, Ma’am.” explained the receptionist when I called downstairs. DH couldn’t make it that night so I messaged him and told him I want to move to another hotel. So I spent the early part of that morning looking for a new hotel and most of them are full considering it was the weekend and with Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day fell on the same day, I guess most of the hotels are only selling twin rooms. (I should know since I was once a reservationist in a hotel!)

Around 11:00 PM I found a hotel, Mercure’s Royal Regency Hotel and we quickly checked out and I briefly called the station Manager there to informed him of my decision to move. I explained to him, I don’t mind if the room doesn’t have internet access or other little things and it’s not that I want a 5 stars hotel (although I wouldn’t refuse it either!) but if they don’t even have any hot water, I’m out! Lil’ A likes his warm bath/showers. He apologized and asked if we needed a ride to the new hotel and when I told him no thank you, my uncle will take us there he said he will personally drive DH to the new hotel.

DH didn’t showed up to the new hotel until after 2:00 PM. Then we all went out for a late lunch, the best Coto Makassar in town! A driver picked DH up back at the hotel at around 5:00 PM; it is after all a business trip. After DH left back for work, the rest of us went to the nursing home to visit my Grandmother.

From the nursing home, we all went to my other Grandmother’s house, which is now owned by Aunt Jane and her family. There, I got to meet some old childhood friends, I had spent 1 year living in Makassar to finish elementary school before we moved to Borneo. It’s quite amusing to watch Little A ran around with the other kids, on the very same little street where I used to do the same thing many years ago.

When we returned to the hotel, DH was already there and he was done with his audit but he still have to do some more work on the phone and computer. We decided not to go out for dinner with the family because Little A was already so tired from the long day. After he fell asleep, I decided to ventured out and find us some late dinner. Took a becak ride down to the beach side, an area called Pantai Losari. The place had changed a lot and all the street food sellers that used to line up the beach side has been temporarily moved to one spot while the government is building a manmade island to place them in the future. All these information came from the becak driver who happily fills me in on how much the area had changed.

On Sunday, our last day in Makassar, after we checked out and left all our stuffs at the concierge, we went out to find some food & souvenirs but unfortunately because it was the Chinese New Year’s most stores and restaurants were closed. My Aunt Jane teased us that we couldn’t picked the worst timing to come there LOL! Fortunately, we did found one souvenirs store that’s open. Boy, DH went overboard with the stuffs there! Too bad we couldn’t bring home the famous pork bakpao (Chinese buns) or the delicious Makassar’s fried noodles. DH asked if we could eat seafood so Uncle Ferdy took us to this seafood restaurant, I forgot the name of the area. That place was packed! It’s two stories and seems like since most restaurants were closed, people went there instead. The seafood’s were fantastic and super fresh!

We stopped by at the nursing home after lunch so I can see Grandma one last time before we left and to introduce DH to her, they never met before. From there we found Pisang Epe (grilled press banana served with durian and brown sugar sauce) seller on the side of a road and we ordered some to bring back to Jakarta. At 3:30 PM a driver from the office were already waiting at the hotel to take us to the airport to catch our 5:25 PM flight. We said goodbye to Aunt Jane, Uncle Ferdy and Ella.

By the time we reached the airport, it was raining so hard you could barely see the road. Oh and since they changed our flights to the later time, we doesn’t have any tickets whatsoever, fortunately DH’s badges works like charm! We checked in, and went upstairs.

The new airport kind of remind me of the Baiyun airport in Guangzhou, China, and I like the new design, way better than how it used to be. The bathrooms were pretty decent and clean. Unfortunately, I saw some spots where it leaks! I was told that they built the airport in such a hurry to finish it up alongside the new toll road that connects it to the city. Things were a little chaotic by the designated Gate for our flight because the passengers were not allowed to go inside. Some people were already complaining and the flight was obviously delayed again. DH immediately got busy. I can’t write too much about that here but let’s just say that I too gave a piece of my mind to one of the airline’s staff.

Our flight finally left for Jakarta after 6:00 PM. An hour delay! A weekend is definitely not enough to enjoy Makassar!


Birthday Bash – Indonesian Style

Bday Collage

This past week had gone by so fast with blurry images of birthday, birthday, birthday. Part of me is glad that the birthday party is over and now all I have to do is to recover from it LOL.

Our precious Lil’ A turned 3 years old on December 7, 2009 but since it fell on Monday and no one threw a birthday party on weekdays here, we postponed the party until last Saturday, a good 5 days later.

Even before we picked the date for the party, I was overwhelmed by how much it takes to throw a kids birthday party here even for a simple one. Perhaps the definition of simple here are just different than what DH and I are used to. The first two birthday parties for Lil’ A were simple, families only, nothing fancy or elaborate. We bought the cake, had snacks then that’s it LOL. Not here tho’…when my Aunt started telling me about the goody bags to do I had to interrupt her “Woaaa…time out! They give out those kinds of goody bags now?!” From faint memories of my childhood birthday parties, the kiddos just went home with simple small box with snacks inside it. Not anymore, she said! Nowadays, the party favors had become more exquisite and of course expensive. I was floored to see the birthday packages price lists offered by event organizer companies here!

We agreed on Thomas the tank engine theme since Lil’ A loves anything Thomas related. DH did the right thing, to stay away from the preparation and left it all to me LOL. Since this is after all Lil’ A’s first birthday party in Indonesia and him being his the first grandson for my parents, understandably my mother wanted to make it special so I agreed with a lot of the stuffs that she offered although personally I’d rather not.

Last week my aunt and I went to this place called Asemka, closeby to Mangga Dua area. It’s like a bulk market where one can find all kinds of party favors for cheap. We got our Thomas backpacks there, too bad I didn’t bring my camera. The place isn’t for the faint of heart tho’ because it is more like a wet market, don’t go there expecting AC or anything fancy like the malls because you won’t get it.

When discussing the venue for his first birthday party in Indonesia, it took us awhile to finally settle for my mom’s house. At first I wanted to have it done at one of the seafood restaurant my family and I frequently visited because they have a nice big backyard but since it is the rainy season, that idea was crossed from my list. There’s no way we could have the party at our apartment or a hotel ballroom (yeah, we’re not going to pay $500 just for a room for 3 hours!) so we agree on having it done at my mom’s place. Considering our budget, and also the facts that December is always the busiest time of spending for our family due to 4 birthdays plus Christmas we didn’t really want to throw such a luxurious birthday bash. Lil’ A is sharing the same birthday as his big half brother Justin. DH is celebrating his birthday on December 24th and my father in-law’s special day fell on December 25th (yes, on Christmas day!)

I wanted to have face painting at the party because I thought the kids would enjoy it so after some researched, found a guy who did it for $50 for 3 hours. Not too bad, I thought. Perhaps one should check out these artists’ works before you hire them because when I think of face-painting, I think of whole face being painted. That’s not what happened at the party, he just painted some small pictures for the kiddos on their faces. One event organizer that I talked to about this said that most Indonesian kids wouldn’t want their whole face painted and sometime their parents won’t want them to have it done while the expats kids usually loves to have their faces painted. The parents that came to our party yesterday, actually encouraged their kids to try it out and I’m glad they did and the kids seems to like it although some of them only wanted their arms painted lol.

collage

Unfortunately, it rained so hard on the big day. This isn’t good at all because when you are living in Jakarta, you’d know what it means when it rains. The traffic will be a nightmare and I worried most of the guests won’t even make it. Most of the people that we invited who had RSVP-ed on Facebook didn’t come, probably due to that very reason.

Despite the facts that a lot of our guests couldn’t make it and the birthday cake showed up with one side smudge, without the candle (although I had reminded the lady about it hours before our driver and assistant came to pick it up!), and how complicated the preparations were, DH and I agree that Lil’ A did had fun and that’s what mattered most.

On our ride back home I playfully asked DH “So, you want to have another Indonesian style birthday party for him again next year?!” He quickly shook his head and said “No thank you!” LOL To that I had to agree and said “Yeah, let’s do it our way, next year!” :D


Balikpapan, Revisited

On Friday, November 20th, we had a chance to tag DH along for his business trip to Balikpapan.

Knowing that I spent some years living in Borneo before, made him wanting to take all of us there for the short trip. Last time I went there was in October 2007 with Lil’ A when he was only 7 months old to visit my parents who were still living in that city so I was excited to visit the oil city.

We took the first flight out of Jakarta, scheduled for 6:40 AM. Poor DH still had to finish up some works the night before and stayed up till 2:00 AM. Sure enough I had a hard time waking him up at a quarter before 5. We didn’t leave for the airport until around 5:40 AM and I started to get nervous that we’ll miss our flight. The very long queue line outside the terminal brought a knot in my stomach lol. Luckily, we saw one of the airline’s staff outside and DH quickly showed his badge then the staff ushered us in through the air crew door. Inside, DH just went to one of the open check in counters, again flashed his badge and we got everything taken care of lol. By the time we reached the gate they were already boarding.



We were the last ones boarding that plane because DH had to checked the plane thoroughly while Lil’ A and I waited by the stairs to board. I find it kind of amusing seeing the airline staffs looks puzzled as DH starts to inspects everything and although I’ve been at his job sites a lot before, I never seen him physically check a plane and boy, he didn’t miss a thing! Being part of the airline for only a few months, granted not everyone knows who he is and to him that is an advantage because he got to check on everything first handedly. Something like a ‘surprise inspection’.

Even after we boarded, DH didn’t immediately took his seat. He went to the cockpit, and checks everything from the inside too. One of the flight attendant gave him such a dirty look when he opened one of the two small overhead compartments designated for the plane’s documents and found a blanket stowed inside when the sign clearly said “Flight Documents. No Stowage.” She tried to argue with DH but he firmly told her NO.

Flying with DH and knowing that he ensured everything is in working orders surely gives me a comforting assurance lol. Lil’ A did so well on his flight even though we haven’t fly anywhere in errr 10 months lol. He wanted to fly again right after we landed.

We reached Balikpapan and someone from the airline were already there picking us up and even took care of our 1 suitcase while we waited for the car.



They took us the hotel, we had lunch then DH was picked up to go back to the airport and work. So Lil’ A and I decided to take a stroll around the hotel after we both took a nap. The city looks a little different to me since there are more new buildings and malls around but what I love about that city is its cleanliness, no wonder they won a lot of trophy for the cleanest city in Indonesia. We walked for almost an hour before heading back to the hotel, DH came back around 6:00 PM and we all went out for dinner. Too bad I didn’t bring my camera.

That night my father’s best friend and his wife, who’s been like my own uncle & aunt came by to drop something for my mother. They came with their granddaughter who’s about the same age as Lil’ A and they had met the last time I was in town in 2007. It’s amazing watching them two because she was such a calm lil’ girl while our boy is well…all boy lol.

The next day, my mom’s friend came over to pick us up with her son, again who’s in the same age as Lil’ A. She took us to Kebun Sayur market, a traditional market that sells gemstones, handicrafts and Borneo’s souvenirs. That place is a tiny heaven for jeweleries lovers, not only that the gems are real but they are way cheaper than if you buy them here in Jakarta. Highly recommended to visit that place! Unfortunately, we cannot stay too long as our boys’ starts to get antsy from the heat.

She then took me to this new mall called the E-center (I think), a brand spanking new mall in Balikpapan. Lunch, then it’s time to call it a day for Lil’ A starts to get too tired.

DH came home but he still had tons of stuffs to work on his computer while Lil’ A nap. We decided to check out Melawai area close to the port because I remembered there used to be lots of street food vendors there. Unfortunately, on our way there, it started raining and my aunt called. Well, technically she’s not really my aunt but her husband and our family has been very close since when I was little too. She invited us to dinner at a seafood restaurant. It was fun meeting them again after several years.

That pretty much wrapped up our very short visit to Balikpapan. DH mentioned that he wanted to visit the small town where I went to Junior High and spent a great  deals of school breaks from high school, but there’s just not enough time to do all that since we were in Balikpapan for 3 days and 2 nights. Hopefully, in the future we all can go back there and visit Sangatta oh and try that famous Kenari Crab!

It was a fun getaway from Jakarta but now that we’re back I have to focus on preparing our little boy’s 3rd Birthday Party coming up next month. :D

Related Posts with Thumbnails

 

About Tatter Scoops

Colorful scoops of a mix-marriage couple, ex-nomads, with one toddler in tow. Place where the slightly Americanized wife channels her mundane sometimes knotty thoughts on mommyhood, toddlerhood, living back in her home country, occasional traveling loaded with photographs from her aperture challenged fingers

Scoops by Month

Scoops Categories

Liking it?

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Vote please

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Daily Stops

Tag Clouds - click me!