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A Tall Order? The Man Criteria, Second Time Around

3 Feb posted by
dreamstimefree_3765538

“I honestly don’t know…”

My head shook as I tried to answer that one simple question one of my best friends asked.

After my world, my belief, my visions were shook to the core it is not easy to know what I want to find in a man anymore.

So her simple “What kind of man are you looking for?” caught me off guard. One that I can’t answer straight off the bats.

© Photographer Eduardkraft | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Should she asked me that a decade ago or so I would simply whip it out and lay down my list of ‘that ideal guy’ on the table with a passion.

Back then, I was a young naïve girl with a vision of what the perfect love is – or so I thought – but I knew what I wanted.

Fast forward to my nearly 33 years of living, after being a mother and a divorcee, things has changed…shifted.

When I looked back at my young naïve self, I saw how much she tend to see the world through that rose tinted glasses. A fantasy world she built came crumbling when the reality is not as sweet as her dreams. Of how easy she handed her heart out…to the wrong kind of guys.

Now, the things that didn’t even matter in my youngster years somehow made it to the list. Little things that young me failed to recognize are now becoming factors.

Mentally I no longer kept a list of my ‘perfect man’ as there is no such thing as a perfect man just like there’s no perfect girl out there.

What I envision now is someone who is not afraid of my past, who can understand where I’m coming from. Someone who knows that there will be moments where ghosts from my past emerged and scared me but I know I will win and cast them away for good. Above all, just like any other single moms out there…I see someone who can accept this little person that will be part of his life too. That is very important for me!

To love me is to love my boy too…

A tall order, I know.

But that’s just how it will be and I know he’s is out there.

So yeah, when I meet him I will know.

Are you a single mom/dad? Do you find your ‘list’ of that ideal man/woman changed after your divorce?

10 Comments
Filed Under: Divorce, Musings

Painting With Faith

29 Jan posted by
dreamstimefree_20741590

“Breathe…” I nudge myself gently “And let it flow…”

My world is slowly shifting in a way that I didn’t see coming. It’s been slow and steadily changing.

Of course my first reactions were to secure and double check the fortress I build surrounding myself. Just to make sure that I’m safe within.

But as I plan to fall in love with myself this year, I decided to take that leap of faith and opened up a window. Yes, still a window…but it was enough for now as I got to look outside the thick cold walls.

What I see makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me forget that I suppose to ‘toughen it up’ for a little while.

Then I began to share my stories. My pain, my battles, my demons. Stories untold just flow out like a broken dam, they were unfiltered, overflowing. It was raw and honest and as real as the tears shed behind every words.

Just like a pro, I would push it away. Try to scare it away when I feel it was getting way too close for comfort. With every brick that was crushed by its persistence, I quickly jumped and try to mold a new one. But the force is steadily coming. Gently…softly…

These bricks are starting to crumble on its own. Yes, it scares the hell out of me but the breeze of fresh air brushing up caressing my face and my soul feels so good after all these times. The warmth of the sun kissing my skin feels so right. For once I can shed my mask and be who I really am.

Maybe it’s true…

It’s like we are painting. We picked what colors to chose. Patience will be required as we put different colors, different strokes, different shapes on the empty new blank canvas. And when the time comes, we could take a few steps back to marvel at how painting with faith can morph into something beautiful.

So, I’m going to paint…painting with faith.

#SOCsunday

This is my Stream of Consciousnesses with the awesome All.Things.Fadra.

Picture from: Dreamstime Free Stock Photos
26 Comments
Filed Under: Musings

Miniskirt Controversy & Teaching Respect

19 Jan posted by

Today I’m over at World Moms Blog talking about To Miniskirt or Not.

The piece was inspired by the latest incident here in Tangerang city where I live. A police, reprimand a girl for wearing short. 

Please do come and show me some love over there and let’s get into the discussion about the whole stigma of what a girl should be wearing or not and how we can teach our children to be respectful to others no matter what they chose to wear.

See ya!


Filed Under: Musings

Breakaway

16 Jan posted by
Breakawayx

I’ve probably heard this one song somewhere along the way before, it’s not like its new or anything. But for some reasons this song SPEAKS to me today.

I sat down and listen…

Really listen…

Eyes closed…

And let the words filled my mind, my heart, my soul…over and over again

These words grabbed my core and shook it hard as if giving it the much needed wake-up call.

Just a day or two after New Year’s Day I had a small conversation with one of my best friend. We talked about what we’re up to and she asked what my plans are for the brand spanking New Year.

“I want to fall in love with me…”

Even I shocked myself with the words I typed.

As it sinks in, I realize I’ve been such a bitch to my own self and enough is enough. I’m not as terrible as I think I am. No, I’m far from perfect – heck, no one is perfect! But if I keep beating myself up, keep talking myself down I will ended up believing all the bullshits I feed my soul.

So I’m claiming me this year.

It’s not easy.

But I’m trying…

I am breaking away from my old chains.

Fighting to break the old self destructions spells of “You are not worthy…” and the likes.

♥♥♥

I’m linking up with Just Be Enough and Memories Captured (genius brainchild of Alison & Galit in-case you haven’t heard!) this week. Head over there to get inspired by words and pictures.

PS: This post was inspired by Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway. Watch the video on YouTube.

38 Comments
Filed Under: Musings

A Gift That Keeps on Giving: 1 Bracelet – 1 Child – 1 Week of Food

10 Jan posted by
Give Jewelry - Orange Cuff Bracelet

Now that Christmas has passed and life resume to normal, our kids maybe still busy playing/enjoying their Christmas presents. But did you know that there are kids who are not as fortunate as ours? I’m talking about the orphanage children here in Indonesia.

I stumble on Give Jewelry and my heart melts, instantly.

BRACELETS WITH PURPOSE

Give Jewelry is a sustainable movement to provide food for children in orphanages throughout Indonesia. The vision is simple: every bracelet purchased directly benefits kids in need. So no matter what type of bracelet you choose: friendship bracelets, charm bracelet, leather bracelet, beaded bracelet, cuff bracelets  or any of their other bracelets, you’re really choosing to make a difference.

Knowing by purchasing one bracelet you can actually provide a one whole meal for a child is a tremendous feeling. You are giving them a better life. You can watch their full length documentary of the visit to Sumba and Bali Orphanage on YouTube.

Some of the areas that Give Jewelry are working on – the Indonesian orphanage – is located in the dry land of Sumba. This speaks volume to me as my late aunt who passed away from breast cancer last June was a pastor in Kupang. Her husband, a native son of Kupang and her has been doing a lot of humanitarian works in these small places to help the people. So now can you connect the dots why I feel this ‘calling’ to support Give Jewelry?

ONE PIECE –> ONE CHILD –> ONE WEEK OF FOOD

Give Jewelry is selling truly beautiful affordable handmade pieces. Do check out their products. These bracelets are helping children in Indonesia not only to feed them but also for medical treatments like you can see on this moving documentary. With every bracelet you purchase, Give Jewelry provides one week of nutritious food (that’s 21 meals!) for a child in need.

Below are some simple steps you can take to raise awareness of hunger, encourage activism and create lasting change.  With your help, we CAN end world hunger, one child at a time!

Would you like to get involve and support this cause that has become very near and dear to my heart? It’s so easy:

For Tatter Scoops readers, Give Jewelry is giving you guys’ special discounts! Woot woot! Easy as pie, if you decided that this is a cause worth supporting, please do buy a bracelet (or two or more!) and upon check out in the Comment Box please use this code: Tatterscoops to receive a FREE Survivor Purple Cancer Awareness Bracelet or Pink Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet as their thank you gift.

What are you waiting for? Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and their bracelets would make a perfect gift for your daughter, mother, girlfriend, etc.

If you do support this, please do let me know by leaving a comment below. Also please watch this 5 minutes video.

7 Comments
Filed Under: Indonesia, Uncategorized

Worry Wart Daughter

9 Jan posted by

Today the boy returns to school after a pretty long break for Christmas.

Ah, I can finally sit and write in peace…or so I thought.

Fingers typing then…

“How is he going to travel that far alone?” sneaked up on me and I lost what I’m supposed to write here. Followed by a silent prayer that he’ll make it there safely.

You see my father is leaving to return to Zambia this afternoon and being the worry wart that I am I just can’t help but worrying about his trip. After his surgery last October, he’s still on the road to recovery. So the thoughts of him flying to a far away land by himself scare me. It’s such a long flight. From here he will fly to Dubai then to Johannesburg before the last leg of his trip to a small mining town in Zambia.

“Be careful!”

“Don’t force it!”

“Ask for wheelchair at the airport to help you.”

“Are you sure you have enough time between the flights so you don’t have to run?”

Those were just some of the stuffs I told him since a few days ago.

He just laughed it off. Typical of him and I got irritated because he’s taking it lightly while his only daughter fret like an old women.

Please say a few prayers for him if you can. May he gets back to Zambia safely and continue his recovery process. Thank you, friends!

♥♥♥♥

Okay, my 5 minutes is up. Come link up with Stream of Consciousness Sunday at All.Things.Fadra

#SOCsunday
Updated: My dad arrived safely in Zambia. Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers!

10 Comments
Filed Under: Musings
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