You are here: Home / Archives for Single Mommyhood

WAHM I am

2 Apr posted by
WAHM

I’m slacking with this blog badly!

So what I’ve been up to lately that I haven’t even had much chance to stop by at your blogs?

OK, I’ve been going to so many job interviews here in the past couple of months that I seriously start to think I should be called a professional interview goers!

Why?

Because I left my old job – one that I held for only 3 days – because of a family emergency. You can read about it over at World Moms Blog post. I’ve been unemployed since then.

My focus has been finding a new job ever since but it hasn’t been easy. It’s been so damn hard and World Moms Blog allowed me to channel my frustrations at the whole scenes. Oh you have no idea how much I wanted to blasted these companies here that measured my capabilities and my skills as an executive secretary from how short my skirt will go. Or how sick I feel of being asked way too personal questions that totally got nothing to do with the job I was applying for.

It really has gotten so bad that I started having this attitude when I go into a job interview since then on. Mentally, I prepared to fend off and refuse to answer any more personal questions. I just had enough for the craps! And if I ended up not getting the job well, I don’t care anymore.

Strangely enough, armed with that attitude, I went to two big job interviews – granted they are international companies – so they are more professional and they never once asked me one of those uncomfortable questions such as “Why did you get divorce?”

Now, I’m happy to report that I had just accepted a job offer.

It will allows me to work from home – hey, working from home moms I’m gonna need some pointers! – and I couldn’t be more happier than this. Not only that this job have so much to offers for me in the long run, I will actually be exploring my passions professionally involving writing and social media.

There’s no more need for me to get up at 4:30 am every morning and make long commutes to and from work. There’s no need to feel guilty for getting home so late after a 12 hours working day and coming home to a sleeping child anymore.

I am beyond excited!

Oh and also, in case you haven’t see me spamming Twitter and Facebook asking for votes, Tatter Scoops has been nominated for Circle of Moms Top 25 Single Moms Blogs 2012. Which put my little blog among other fantastic single moms blogger out there in the blogosphere. Couldn’t be more proud and happier! Voting is very easy. Just go to the site (or click on the button bellow) and scroll down to find Tatter Scoops and click the Thumb Up Vote button and you’re all done. Voila! Easy peasy, isn’t? Voting will be open until 18 April 2012. I’d send you tons of virtual love and hugs if you do go and vote for me.

So, if you are a work from home Mom how do you juggle it all? What works for you to get some work done and still being there for your kid(s)? 

photo by: GabrielaP93
11 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Uncategorized, Working Mom

Maybe One Day He Will

2 Mar posted by

“It’s Mommy’s birthday today?” his pointy little curls framed his face as he looked up from his Nintendo DS and asked me that question.

“Yes it is.” I smiled at him confirming what one of his uncles already told him this morning before school.

“OK…” he mumbles and focused on his game some more and I busied myself plucking my eyebrows away.

“Here Mommy…it’s your cake!” Turned out he was busy drawing me a tiny little cake on his Nintendo DS.

“Thank you, Alex…” my heart was swollen with love “You got 3 candles for Mommy too. How sweet!”

“Wait, let me draw you your present…”

“Inside your present is a baby, Mommy!” His big eyes widened with excitement and my heart crack a little. He proudly showed me his masterpiece and he even tried to wrote “Mommy“.

“Aww….do you want a baby brother or a baby sister?” I pulled him into my lap this time.

“Baby brother!” he didn’t even blink and answered me full force.

“That’s sweet…but Mommy can’t have a baby right now. Maybe someday, OK?” Planted a kiss on his soft hair inhaling his sweet smell.

“Mommy will give baby a bottle…” he drew a bottle…he continued talking about this baby as if he didn’t hear what I said before.

“I have to find toys for baby!” He jumped down from our bed and fumble through his toys shelves. “Can baby play with this, Mommy?” A tank was on his hand.

“That’s big boy’s toy…baby can’t play with a tank. Maybe find something else?”

“How bout this one…or this one…or this one…” He went on and on and pretty much took all toys he have in the shelves out asking for my approval.

“Alex…come here…”

He came and sat on my lap again where I just wrap my arms around him, my mind wonders and worried he might be asking more questions.

“Are you sure you want a baby brother or sister?” I kissed his cheek and he giggled.

“Yes, Mommy.” That little head nodded and again there’s a pang in my heart.

“Alex, one day you will have one or maybe two…but Mommy can’t tell you when that will be.  Can you wait?”

“When, Mommy?” his beautiful brown eyes demanded my answers and again my brain rattles trying to find the right ones to satisfy him.

“When God is ready to give you a little brother or little sister. Mommy can’t tell you when because it will be a surprise.”

“Oh…I ask Jesus for a baby then…”

Just like that, he stop asking and I squeezed my baby a little tighter, kissed him plenty and I thank God for this little man in my life.

Maybe one day he will get what he wished for.

If you are divorced/married, have your child ever ask to have another sibling(s)? How did you handle it?

12 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood

The Poet, The Joker, The Smarty-Pants & The NatGeo Junky

12 Jan posted by
5 years of joy

Being a mother to 5 years old boy surely has been interesting and fun so far.

My Boy The Poet

Who knew turning 5 will bring out the hidden poet inside my boy. Every night now before bed he would come up with the sweetest words when we cuddle that just makes my heart swollen with love.

“I will give you a hundred, thousand, million hearts, Mommy”

“I love you so much, Mommy. Ever after!” add a big squishy hug and kisses then you can see me melting in those little hands.

First of all, I have no idea where he picked up the Ever After line. Could it be Happily Ever After? Doesn’t really matter where it came from does it?

“Mommy, I love you to the stars of forever!”

I swear sometimes he just sees right through me especially when I’m feeling rotten inside and with just a few lines and lots of kisses from him my boo-boo has been kissed.

Meet The Joker

Oh he can be quite a joker too and it goes something like this:

Boy: “I will give Mommy so much money.”

Mommy: “Aww…that’s very sweet of you but you don’t need to do that, okay?”

Boy: “Yes, so Mommy can buy me lots of toys!”

Not quite a poet there huh?

Meet Mr. Smarty-Pants

This conversation happened a couple of days ago:

Me: “Alex, it’s bed time.”

Boy: “Ooh maan!”

Me: “Don’t oh man me.”

Boy: “What is don’t oh man me, Mommy?”

Me: “Don’t say oh man me to Mommy.”

He turned to the wall his back facing me then sighing loudly “Ooh maaaan!” then he turned around “See, Mommy I said it to the wall!”

This is a piece of conversation we had last night – setting as usual before bed.

Me: “I love you, Pumpkin…”

Boy: “Why do you call me Pumpkin, Mommy?”  (believe me I tried to stop calling him this!)

Me: “Because when you were a baby you were as cute as a little pumpkin.”

Boy: “Oh, just like the pumpkin at the store!” (we went groceries shopping earlier and he actually asked if he could get a small pumpkin)

Me: “Yes, something like that.” Boy was silent so I proceeded “I love you, Baby”

Boy: “Mommy, I am not a baby anymore!”

Mommy: “Okay then, I love you Alexander!”

The NatGeo Junky

A has been into NatGeo channel since before he turned 4 and this continues in his 5 years old stage. He loves Discovery Channels too and some Animal Planet which I’d rather let him watch than the Cartoon Network. (FYI, we don’t have Nick Jr. Channel here in Jakarta *insert sad face*)

Being 5 also opened up the door to a super curiosity level that sometimes Mommy just can’t keep up with all his questions.

He would ask so many questions that watching TV with him now is hard. I know, I know, I should be thankful that this boy is eager to learn, trying to understand how things work.  But man, sometimes I just want to watch TV quietly. Hah!

All in all, being 5 is pretty awesome.

If your child is 5 years old what changes do you see in them? Oh and how do you curb the “Whys, hows?” do you explain things thoroughly?
6 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood

Thank Heaven For Little Boy

9 Dec posted by
Sleeping Child

My dear dear boy,

Watching you sleep oh so peacefully tonight makes me heart swollen with a love that is bigger than anything I ever known.

I slowly touched your open hand and you clasp my finger tightly as tight as you hold my heart.

Your hair is getting longer and the curls starts to show up again. No matter how unruly they get and how much you hate when Mommy force you to brush those locks, I miss seeing their almost Sherly Temple lookalike curls.

Those legs no longer pack the once yummylicious baby lumps. They are now long, lean and skinny.

Your cheeks have no more chubbiness yet I can still bite on them playfully and kiss them a million times.

The way you say your “Night Night Prayer” out of memory always make me feel so grateful for this greatest gift in my life.

Your cheekiness always warms even the crappiest day of this mother’s day.  “Clown of the classroom” is what your teachers told me.  The classroom is too quiet without you they said.

Amazing how smart you really are behind all your goofing around – that sometimes frustrate me when we’re doing your homework. I’m biased of course and allowed to be since I am your mother!  You’d surprise me by reading “Ben” on TV while I sat there next to you trying so hard to make you read the 3 letters practice book from school.

Your abrupt out of nowhere “Aku sayang Mommy!” (I love Mommy) managed to wipe my tiredness away after a crazy day at the office.

The never ending curiosity you shows daily. From asking what a word means in English or in Indonesian to asking why an engine failed when we watch Air Crash Investigation show on NatGeo – to which I asked you to save that question for Daddy when you’re with him.

I know your questioning will only get longer as you get older and can I freak out now?

Oh what about the way you ‘attack’ Mommy because you want to play roughhousing or just want to tickle me then planted a big giant kiss? No matter how badly my bones are cracking I.love.it!

The concerned look on your face when I tell you Mommy’s not going to work followed by “Will your boss be angry, Mommy?” makes me want to squeeze you tightly so you don’t have to worry too much.

Behind your cheerful happy go lucky self I know there’s an old soul hidden. A soul that is very sensitive. How I wish I could take back that one time right after your Opa (Grandpa) just got home from the hospital and you were just trying to see him closely but your tired Mommy snapped at you panicking you would bump into his bandaged foot. To see you sat there on the stairs with tears silently running down your face broke my heart. You cried in Mommy’s arms and said “Nggak mau Opanya sakit!” (I don’t want Grandpa to be sick). Oh baby….I’m so sorry.

Your stubbornness is quite scary as I see so much of myself in you when that side appears.  Sometimes with raised eyebrows I’d asked you “Whose child is this, anyway?” and behind your little smirk you’d say “Anak Mommy!” (Mommy’s child).

I’m still amazed by how you laid out your own rules when it comes to the languages you speak. When you’re home with everyone else you demanded to only speak in Indonesian including to me but when we’re upstairs ready for bed you’d whisper “Mommy, when we’re in our room then we can talk in English.”

Yes, there are moments where you just drive your mother crazy but I think all mother feels that way, right?

Watching you growing up to be a little person that you are today never cease to amaze me. Thank you for showing your Mommy what true love really is all about.  Thank you for teaching me to relax and let loose and be silly, to live in the moment to stop worrying too much and just have faith.

I have so many wishes for you my son, it’s wrapped in prayers and being lifted to heaven.

Happy Birthday Alexander. Mommy love you to the moon and back!

12 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood

When 24 Hours Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore

20 Nov posted by

I’m still alive…drowning with work but alive…

Down and Out and Drowning (Explore)
Creative Commons License photo credit: geezaweezer

These past few weeks have been so overwhelming. All the stress and tensions from staying in the hospital last month up to earlier this month with my father has finally caught up with me. All the stress from work – from going solo because my colleague is on her leave and I have to tackle everything by myself really makes me feel exhausted. All the pressure to stay at my current job while I had signed up with a new one makes my head hurts. I hit the slump of feeling running on empty.

So much to juggle all at once…

Then the little ‘panic’ I got from realizing my time at my current job is drawing to a close and I still have so many loose end to ties-up while keeping the ‘regular’ workloads afloat causing me to work long hours. In the past week alone I had worked close to 65 hours. I.am.super.overwhelmed! Stress gives me daily stomachache and I’m just dying to get all these behind me.

Yes, I am moving to a new company starting the end of this month. I’m sad to leave my colleagues and friends but I’ve made up my mind.

This new job will require longer commute time as the office would be in downtown area but there will be much more commuting options from the bus to the train. I think I will go with the latter option.

Another set of panic attack was when it hits me that I don’t have that much of ‘formal’ working attires. Being spoiled by my office now, jeans became my best friend so I don’t wear my executive-secretary-style daily. The new job will requires me to dress formally from Monday – Thursday. So I’ve been slowly starting to buy key pieces items to wear. Not easy because I’m not your typical itty-bitty-Asian woman.

Breathe in breathe out…

Lately I told my best friend that I feel like I have no life whatsoever outside of just work & home. Rinse and repeat!

My long awaited trip to the small island of Rote has been cancelled due to my father’s health. He was still in hospitalized when I was scheduled to go so canceling it was the right thing to do. Besides, I wouldn’t feel right to go on a mini get-away while he’s sick.

Dating? What is that exactly? I’m just so not ready and not been interested in this department. Maybe later in the future.

Don’t even let me get started on the working mom’s guilt, for I have oh so plenty of them lately. Knowing that my son is the motor that keep me running through all these hurdle is what keeps me going.

Not easy for me to relax and take things easy with so much going on but I am trying. Thanks God for dear dear close friends who can still makes me laugh with their antics during these stressful few weeks.

Luckily there’s only 24 hours in a day if we have more then I’d probably be working even longer.

How do you manage a crazy schedule in your life? How do you find your “me-time”? 

6 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Working Mom

Two Cultures, One Heart

3 Nov posted by

In my nearly 5 years of being a mother to little dude, a lot has changed. A lot has influenced me in this whole journey of motherhood.

From facing motherhood ‘unexpectedly’ by having my son 5 weeks earlier than expected – thanks to my severe preeclampsia, from dealing with undiagnosed post-partum depression, from moving to China temporarily before moving permanently back to my home country of Indonesia, from the demise of my marriage, from practicing co-parenting…

So much has happened.

My way of motherhood has clearly become one that’s not very mainstream like, loaded with influences from two cultures.

Scoops from two cultures, one heart

That’s my tag line. Two cultures because the influences from my Indonesian – Southeast Asian background and you got the Western parts as my son is born out of two emerged cultures. One heart, because despite the differences the source is one…this little boy who is not so little anymore.

Looking back, frictions of having my own beliefs when it comes to parenting/motherhood and that of my cultural upbringing were not as bad as I feared. Of course it was slightly overwhelming at first, just like when my mother suggested that I strapped my post-emergency-c-section-tummy with a girdle or put a coin on my new baby’s belly button to prevent him from being an outie – which by the way I refused to practice and his belly button looks normal now.

Now that I had readjusted myself to be living back here permanently, I am more in-tune with whatever works for us – this little boy and his mommy – instead of what is demanded by society.

Easier to say than done…I’d like to think it developed over times and will continues to do so as I travel this journey of motherhood longer.

When I first brought my son home to Indonesia, he was about 10 months old.  I hated the way strangers would come and pinch his cheeks or hold his baby fat covered hands. Maybe because back in Alabama people just doesn’t do that, but overtime I came to understand that these are just the admiration gestures my own people have. A gesture that has been going on for decades if not million of years ago. I even blogged awhile back about this very topic of please don’t touch my baby!

Now that I’m a single mom who is learning to master the art of practice co-parenting, there are still miles of challenges up ahead. Be it from my inner self and also from society who sadly still have huge doubts about co-parenting, some people here even still looks down on single moms.

It may looks like I have plenty of internal wars within me from trying to combine and maintain a balance of two cultures in raising my son but in the end what matters is that one heart…that is growing outside my body.

Our two cultures maybe quite colorful but if we take the goods out of both worlds our lives will be rich and this boy will grow up with pride of having the best of both worlds. And that is one of my motherhood purpose…

This month World Moms Blog is celebrating their 1  year blogiversary and I am linking up with them and many other great bloggers from across the globe. Come check it out and travel the world of motherhood.

 

20 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood
« Older Posts

Switch to our mobile site