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The Poet, The Joker, The Smarty-Pants & The NatGeo Junky

12 Jan posted by
5 years of joy

Being a mother to 5 years old boy surely has been interesting and fun so far.

My Boy The Poet

Who knew turning 5 will bring out the hidden poet inside my boy. Every night now before bed he would come up with the sweetest words when we cuddle that just makes my heart swollen with love.

“I will give you a hundred, thousand, million hearts, Mommy”

“I love you so much, Mommy. Ever after!” add a big squishy hug and kisses then you can see me melting in those little hands.

First of all, I have no idea where he picked up the Ever After line. Could it be Happily Ever After? Doesn’t really matter where it came from does it?

“Mommy, I love you to the stars of forever!”

I swear sometimes he just sees right through me especially when I’m feeling rotten inside and with just a few lines and lots of kisses from him my boo-boo has been kissed.

Meet The Joker

Oh he can be quite a joker too and it goes something like this:

Boy: “I will give Mommy so much money.”

Mommy: “Aww…that’s very sweet of you but you don’t need to do that, okay?”

Boy: “Yes, so Mommy can buy me lots of toys!”

Not quite a poet there huh?

Meet Mr. Smarty-Pants

This conversation happened a couple of days ago:

Me: “Alex, it’s bed time.”

Boy: “Ooh maan!”

Me: “Don’t oh man me.”

Boy: “What is don’t oh man me, Mommy?”

Me: “Don’t say oh man me to Mommy.”

He turned to the wall his back facing me then sighing loudly “Ooh maaaan!” then he turned around “See, Mommy I said it to the wall!”

This is a piece of conversation we had last night – setting as usual before bed.

Me: “I love you, Pumpkin…”

Boy: “Why do you call me Pumpkin, Mommy?”  (believe me I tried to stop calling him this!)

Me: “Because when you were a baby you were as cute as a little pumpkin.”

Boy: “Oh, just like the pumpkin at the store!” (we went groceries shopping earlier and he actually asked if he could get a small pumpkin)

Me: “Yes, something like that.” Boy was silent so I proceeded “I love you, Baby”

Boy: “Mommy, I am not a baby anymore!”

Mommy: “Okay then, I love you Alexander!”

The NatGeo Junky

A has been into NatGeo channel since before he turned 4 and this continues in his 5 years old stage. He loves Discovery Channels too and some Animal Planet which I’d rather let him watch than the Cartoon Network. (FYI, we don’t have Nick Jr. Channel here in Jakarta *insert sad face*)

Being 5 also opened up the door to a super curiosity level that sometimes Mommy just can’t keep up with all his questions.

He would ask so many questions that watching TV with him now is hard. I know, I know, I should be thankful that this boy is eager to learn, trying to understand how things work.  But man, sometimes I just want to watch TV quietly. Hah!

All in all, being 5 is pretty awesome.

If your child is 5 years old what changes do you see in them? Oh and how do you curb the “Whys, hows?” do you explain things thoroughly?
6 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood

2011 In A Flashback

28 Dec posted by

The writing prompt from Mama Kat’s this week is just too good to pass. What better ways to get ready for the new year than taking a little flash back to see what happened in 2011 on my blog who has been in near comatose moments because juggling a full time job and single motherhood is just not easy.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1. January:

Last January was a huge milestone for my boy. He started preschool! I had mixed feelings about this. One part of me is quite sad to let him go into the world – albeit it’s just a preschool but he never been to one before so it’s a huge steps for all of us. One part of me is excited for him to see him learning new things and making friends.

2. February:

Read above, and see why my blog was in comatose? I didn’t post a single darn thing for the entire month.

3. March:

By the end of March my brothers and my son went to Bangkok to cash in on that Photo Contest winning prize that I won back in late 2010. It was one of the best vacations I ever had. Not only because we went there for free but from being treated like a star at The Holiday Inn Bangkok. It was purely one vacay I will never forget.

Walking Down The Steps

4. April:

After my marriage ended and seeing how so many marriages especially ones that involves a Western man fell to pieces while they are living and working in Indonesia, I just can’t help but pouring my thoughts into the ‘Why’s  and I love the feedbacks I’m getting from friends who is in a mix marriage and others who had went through divorce.

5. May:

With my crazy work load back then, I only managed to pushed one post out and it was a V-log. Yes, my first ever video blog.

6. June:

This was a hard month for all of my family. We lost my mother’s sister to breast cancer then followed by the passing of my Grandmother just three days later.

7. July:

My favorite post has to be the one where I wrote about the hardship and joy of flying solo as a single mom.

8. August:

Being a single mom is not easy and sometimes people just need to be reminded of what not to ask us single moms. This post might be very handy for Indonesian people who can be pretty nosy.

9. September:

Hitting the publish button was so hard for this one post. Waves of pain swept over me as I typed how I faced my final curtains but the fear of writing about something so very personal was quickly changed into relief – as if I am letting go of my anger. The outpouring supports I got truly lift up my spirit so thank you my dearest friends who read and commented. This post was picked by Fadra from All Things Fadra for her Top 20 Blogmas Posts to Make You Feel. Thanks Fadra!

I cheated, I have to favorite post this month, it was actually from Mama Kat’s writing prompts: Where I’m From.

10. October:

After one reader’s comment on my post about misconceptions about secretaries , I had some doubtful moments about my writing and asked how to handle criticism. Blogging in a language that is not my native language has been more comfortable for me but it is a learning process. If I were to read my ancient diaries written in English, I’m sure I would cringe from the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

11. November:

My post to celebrate The World Moms Blog first anniversary was a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. The same reasons why I came up with my tagline Scoops From Two Cultures, One Heart.

12. December:

My son turned 5 years old on December 7, 2011. I reflect back on what a joy having a son really is about.

In welcoming 2012, what are your favorite posts from 2011? Why don’t you join this week’s writing prompts over at Mama Kat’s

39 Comments
Filed Under: Musings

Blue Christmas

21 Dec posted by
Blue Christmas

This will indeed be a lonely and hardest Christmas ever.

A couple of days ago I just found out that Mr. X will be picking our son up this Friday for Christmas. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling lonely already? Who knows! All I know is I found the news hard to digest.

To be fair to the whole co-parenting Dos and Don’ts, yes the boy should spend Christmas with his father and his new family since I had him last Christmas which was the first Christmas after being separated. It’s only fair.

But I can’t deny this sadness inside me.

This will be my first Christmas as a divorcee and the first Christmas without my son. For the first time in 5 years I’ve been a mother, my son and I won’t be together during the most celebrated times of the year.

I can lament and vented out but I know this is part of the ‘deal’. Part of the bigger pictures of being divorced with children who shares custody. This supposes to be normal.

Tonight I read and connect a lot more with fellow single moms like myself who will not be with their children during Christmas, thanks to The Single Mommyhood post on this very same topic of co-parenting between the Holidays or if you can spend the Holiday together. Genuinely, I have newly found utmost respects to those parents who managed to come together and celebrating the Holiday with their exes – including the trailing new spouse/partner.

Personally, that is still a far far away dream for me. It would be way too awkward to be in the same room with the New Missus let alone to act joyful.  Even after two years, it still feel too raw to be within few meters away from her and wouldn’t my sensitive boy picked up on such vibes? I’m afraid I am just not fully there yet to forgive her, the woman who used to work with Mr. X in the same office, who knew he was married but went after him anyway then moved right in just a day after I moved out. Even talking about it still hurts. Although my own relationship with Mr. X has been somewhat normal and civilized, I don’t think I could be in the same room with them. I am just not ready yet.

Have yourself a Lonely Merry Christmas!

 
That’s a post title from a single dad blogger of Big City Dad, I just saw tonight and it strike a chord so deeply that I just have to write my own version.

Yes, the boy would only be ‘away’ for 3 days. Mr. X lives here too and I could always call him to say Merry Christmas. Yes, he will be with me and my big family for New Year’s Day.  He will be home on December 26 then we can open up his present including the one from Grandma sent all the way from Florida. There are single moms out there whose child(ren) are traveling halfway across the country to be with their dads. There are single moms out there who lives alone without their families to support them while they are feeling alone this Holiday seasons. It’s not the end of the world, I know that.

There’s a lump in my throat as I type this.

In a few years from now after I get used to this whole new co-parenting dynamics maybe things wouldn’t be this hard. Maybe I can actually be in the same room and smile genuinely to this woman.

Until then I shall stay close to my big obnoxious crazy family, soaking in their unspoken love and their never ending support to ease my loneliness and sadness. Am keeping all the other single parents who can’t be with their children on this Holiday seasons and sending them big virtual hugs and praying we will find peace somehow.

If you are a single parents, how do you manage the Holiday without your child(ren) when they are with your exes? Any tips for the rookie like myself?

 

Picture from: Dreamstime
15 Comments
Filed Under: Co-parenting, Divorce

Are You Ready For Christmas?

20 Dec posted by

“Are you ready for Christmas? (or the Holiday)”

That’s the famous lines seemingly being asked by everyone this time of the year.

Honestly,  I don’t know how to answer this as I have a different perspective of being ready.

Yes, our Christmas tree is up. FYI, in the tropic country such as Indonesia, people normally goes with the plastic fake tree not real ones.  I miss the smell of fresh ones though.

When I was little, Christmas was all about performances in Sunday school and our church. Mothers would dress up their kids in special – usually newly bought – Christmas attires which meant lots of itchiness for me from my puffy skirts with laces and bow ties for the boys.

Christmas shopping? It’s not a huge part of my upbringing. For us, Christmas presents are mostly for kids. I had beautiful childhood memories of Christmas when I was little of course but that custom changed as I got older.

Christmas means a whole month packed with family and church activities. Christmas celebration here, Christmas celebrations there…and by celebration I didn’t mean the Christmas party where we watch someone else drank a little too much and attempt to belt out some Christmas tunes on top of a table. No, it was more of a religious celebration. A lot of prayers, a lot of singing Christmas carol in Indonesian language. No booze served.

Last year I still managed to push out some Christmas cards that went as far as London and Down Under to Australia for friends and families. This year, I’m skipping this part. Not because I’m lazy, not because I don’t want to. I love getting Holiday cards in the mail – nothing beats that in this e-cards era. I just failed to ‘get-ready’ for Christmas.

This Christmas personally mean I am so thankful to have both parents at home. Their health has been a big concern for us lately so to see them smiling and getting better by the day is just what I wish for this Christmas. My heart is singing joyful tunes because of this, not from the boxes of presents brightly wrapped and sits under our Christmas tree. The true presents lies within my heart.

So, are you ready for Christmas/Holiday? 

8 Comments
Filed Under: Jakarta Livin'

We Are Sticking Together!

2 Dec posted by

Looking back, this year I had spent so much times in hospitals.

Well, we all had…

 

More than the last few years combine.

In brutal honesty, part of me wish this would stop. No more hospitals please, Lord. It’s too stressful, mentally draining and physically exhausting.

Yet here I am, sitting by the window facing a mall and an Ocean Park with my mother lays in hospital bed to my left.

She’s been hospitalized since 29th November from breathing problems. Results shows her lungs were half covered with fluids.

My father was just released from the hospital a couple of weeks prior and currently still doing outpatient treatment daily.  My mother has been his ‘nurse’ at home so to have both parents ill really is hard for all of us the children.

Intensive Care Units’ Waiting Room really is one of the most depressing place to be.  There’s just  so much sadness and grief hanging in the air. There used to be an invisible bonds between families who stayed at these waiting rooms while their loved ones are battling their serious illness.

I first experienced this years ago as I spent so many nights for my Grandfather in the hospital.

Things are changing…

Actually, I just realized this when my father was hospitalized. There are more maids even hired caretakers than immediate families.

Yes, I understand everyone is busy in the big city. Time is money. Deadlines to catch, etc…etc…

Not for us!

Both my brothers are working full time and so am I but we managed to stretch our times to be with our parents. Even if the three of us have to take turns spending the night at the hospital.  Even if that means we had to sleep on a thin creaky beds that hurt our backs. We rushed to the hospital after work. We take turns staying in the hospital during the days too.

Of course like many families here in Jakarta, we have helpers at home. We could easily ask them to come and watch our parents in the hospital while we sleep in our comfy beds at home. So why not, then? It just doesn’t feels right. That’s just not in our family’s cultures I guess. None of our parents asked us to stay, sometimes they even try to shoo us out.

Our parents must’ve raised us good. They instilled in us from early on and by living the message that families stick together.

So to hear other’s criticizing me or my brothers for spending so much times in the hospital deserves some bitch slaps, hard!

Work is important especially when you’re a single mom – I’ll be the first to admit that. But still, family comes first and in times like this sometimes you have no other choice but being by the sides of the people you love. And that my friends, is what I’m doing.

This family has been through so much this year yet we are surviving  it all together. Tears filled coated with many of laughter wrapped up in an ever growing faith that God will let us sail through whatever it is life throw at us. We are together!

And that’s what matters most…

9 Comments
Filed Under: Health

From A Thankful Heart

24 Nov posted by

It’s been 3 years…

Since I had a ‘proper’ Thanksgiving meals of turkey, green beans casserole topped off with delicious pecan pie and pumpkin pie.

Had to cancel my reservation at the American Club’s Thanksgiving Dinner tonight because of financial priorities.

My mother’s oven doesn’t have the power to cook a whole turkey.

There are many logistical reasons why we’re not celebrating Thanksgiving Day the way it’s being celebrated back in the States.

But deep in my heart I am thankful.

For this year hasn’t been nothing short but amazing in its own way. Looking back, it’s so easy to spot the things that I’m grateful for.

Here’s why my heart is swollen with so much gratitude – in no particular order:

  • Seeing my boy thriving after he started school. It’s amazing to watch him grows intellectually day by day and blossoming into a soon-to-be 5 years old boy. His sudden interests in math – which by the way, could never come from his mother’s genes! The way he speaks Indonesian and English. My heart that is walking and breathing outside of my body is growing and I couldn’t be more thankful to have him. For the constant reminder he teaches me to slow down, to stop and laugh at the silly little things.
  • To receive VIP treatments at The Holiday Inn in Bangkok for free after winning their photo contest, I would’ve never even imagined that my picture would land us there in Thailand. But it did! It wasn’t a dream. They are still using that shot around their hotel and on their Facebook page.

  • For the health of my family, I can’t stop giving thanks to the Almighty for this one. Even when we lost two beloved members of our family, my faith were forever sealed that God is good all the time. My aunt may lost her battle to breast cancer but she lives on in our hearts forever and my Oma (Grandma) now rest in peace after a long amazing life. Even after the scare of my father’s health, God still answer our prayers and he’s now on the road to recovery.
  • For my best friends who keeps me sane. These girls are my voices of reasons when I hit the slump. Their love gives me the strength when I thought I had none left. Yes, you girl! Those who can truly sees the real me without passing judgments, who let me vent yet give me some slaps of reality when necessary. Your friendship means the world to me. Thank you!

“Friends ask you why you’re crying. Best friends: already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.” - unknown

  • The wonderful people that I met at my current job, the ones that I will leave in just a few days. Friendships were made. The laughter we shared in that office. So many people who touched my life. I will keep the memories of working side by side with them close to my heart and keep the friendships made.
  • All my bloggy/Facebook/Twitter friends…it’s amazing how social media works isn’t? I have ‘met’ some truly amazing amazing people here online from all corners of the world. If only I could squeeze everyone here – it would be one darn long list. So if you read this post, if we communicate through Facebook or Twitter then I am thankful for you! My blog has opened up connections with others that enrich my life, it builds not only connections but also friendships, albeit the distance. Two highlights of my 2011 so far also include how thankful I feel to be a part of World Moms Blog’s contributor and being featured on The Parent Du Jour.
  • Despite the end of my marital ties with Mr. X, his families still plays important roles in my life. My wonderful ex-mother in law who calls me her daughter…I could’ve never asked for a better mother in law. So to use the letters ‘ex’ pained me. Love that woman like my own mother!

Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, it is important to remain thankful for all the blessings, big or small.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving Day?

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Filed Under: Musings, Uncategorized
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