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Got Doppelganger?

14 Dec posted by

Do you believe that everyone has a twin – that’s not blood related to them – that looks like you? Someone who is your doppelganger?

I didn’t believe this until I met Diana.

See the picture and tell me what you think?

When I was just started at the old company I worked for, one girl quickly said to bunch of other girls “Wow, she looks just like Diana, don’t you think?” Of course I was puzzled who this Diana really is.

The first time I met Diana was at a dinner with my colleagues. Diana used to work at that company but had resigned, moved back to Ambon and built a diner there.

The first meeting, I didn’t see much resemblance to her. Until she returned to the office, yeah she decided to return for a few months to help huge recruitment process.

Everyone said we look alike but I still failed to see what’s so similar other than both our fathers are from Ambon, we both grew up in different parts of Indonesia. Physically we both are big boned and tall. Some people at the office often got mixed up and call me Diana and they call her Maureen. Some even called me Diana when I’m on the phone with them.

Then when my father was in the hospital, she came to visit him. She cheered him up with her Ambonese jokes. My father liked her immediately.  Her own father suffered the same thing that my father has. Diabetes!  Another thing in common.

The epiphany moment came when my son met her and he pointed and said “There’s two Mommy!” Both of us went “What???” and everyone started laughing. Now, if my then 4 years old acknowledge the similarity maybe everyone else has been right all along!

Since then Diana ‘appointed’ herself as “Mama Ani” (Godmother) for my son despite our religious differences. The boy gladly calls her Mama Ani too which wooed her to the core.

Friendship between us grows and the more I get to know her, the more I see our similarities and how her positive vibes in life influenced me greatly.

Funny part is she also just realized a couple of days ago when I call her “Dayen” – as in her nickname while close friends and families calls me “Oyen”. Get it? She asked me “Who the heck are you, really?” And we laughed!

I hope our friendships will grow stronger for sure.

Have you got your own doppelganger?

4 Comments
Filed Under: Musings

From A Thankful Heart

24 Nov posted by

It’s been 3 years…

Since I had a ‘proper’ Thanksgiving meals of turkey, green beans casserole topped off with delicious pecan pie and pumpkin pie.

Had to cancel my reservation at the American Club’s Thanksgiving Dinner tonight because of financial priorities.

My mother’s oven doesn’t have the power to cook a whole turkey.

There are many logistical reasons why we’re not celebrating Thanksgiving Day the way it’s being celebrated back in the States.

But deep in my heart I am thankful.

For this year hasn’t been nothing short but amazing in its own way. Looking back, it’s so easy to spot the things that I’m grateful for.

Here’s why my heart is swollen with so much gratitude – in no particular order:

  • Seeing my boy thriving after he started school. It’s amazing to watch him grows intellectually day by day and blossoming into a soon-to-be 5 years old boy. His sudden interests in math – which by the way, could never come from his mother’s genes! The way he speaks Indonesian and English. My heart that is walking and breathing outside of my body is growing and I couldn’t be more thankful to have him. For the constant reminder he teaches me to slow down, to stop and laugh at the silly little things.
  • To receive VIP treatments at The Holiday Inn in Bangkok for free after winning their photo contest, I would’ve never even imagined that my picture would land us there in Thailand. But it did! It wasn’t a dream. They are still using that shot around their hotel and on their Facebook page.

  • For the health of my family, I can’t stop giving thanks to the Almighty for this one. Even when we lost two beloved members of our family, my faith were forever sealed that God is good all the time. My aunt may lost her battle to breast cancer but she lives on in our hearts forever and my Oma (Grandma) now rest in peace after a long amazing life. Even after the scare of my father’s health, God still answer our prayers and he’s now on the road to recovery.
  • For my best friends who keeps me sane. These girls are my voices of reasons when I hit the slump. Their love gives me the strength when I thought I had none left. Yes, you girl! Those who can truly sees the real me without passing judgments, who let me vent yet give me some slaps of reality when necessary. Your friendship means the world to me. Thank you!

“Friends ask you why you’re crying. Best friends: already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.” - unknown

  • The wonderful people that I met at my current job, the ones that I will leave in just a few days. Friendships were made. The laughter we shared in that office. So many people who touched my life. I will keep the memories of working side by side with them close to my heart and keep the friendships made.
  • All my bloggy/Facebook/Twitter friends…it’s amazing how social media works isn’t? I have ‘met’ some truly amazing amazing people here online from all corners of the world. If only I could squeeze everyone here – it would be one darn long list. So if you read this post, if we communicate through Facebook or Twitter then I am thankful for you! My blog has opened up connections with others that enrich my life, it builds not only connections but also friendships, albeit the distance. Two highlights of my 2011 so far also include how thankful I feel to be a part of World Moms Blog’s contributor and being featured on The Parent Du Jour.
  • Despite the end of my marital ties with Mr. X, his families still plays important roles in my life. My wonderful ex-mother in law who calls me her daughter…I could’ve never asked for a better mother in law. So to use the letters ‘ex’ pained me. Love that woman like my own mother!

Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, it is important to remain thankful for all the blessings, big or small.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving Day?

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Filed Under: Musings, Uncategorized

Social Life Gone Missing

24 Aug posted by

“But you are very sociable!” claimed an acquaintances when I told her I barely go out and socialize these days.

Soc…what? Insert raised eyebrows here then add some laughter.

Err…just because I am somewhat active within the social media world does that really makes me sociable? Hmm…maybe I am somewhat geeky or just secretly being an anti-social?

Ever since I started working full time I don’t have much of social life. Sad? Maybe…depends on how you look at it. Especially because I work Monday – Saturday with the third Saturday of the month off. 90% of the times I DID stepped outside my daily routes – read: home – work – home, were because my girlfriends just simply dragged me and half forced me to do so. Hah!

Not, that I don’t enjoy hanging out with my friends, laughing, having coffee or dinner or even went out dancing.

Sometimes I feel bad for turning down the invitations from them but as a single mom who still living from paycheck to paycheck, I just simply can’t afford the fancy drinks or more than a glass of margarita. A night out in town is fun but that’s a treat now and I have to get my priorities in order. Roughly, for my cabs and drinks you’re seeing over $80 for painting the town red. That’s a quite hefty for me. Doesn’t sounds much for some but for this single mama…that’s a.lot.of.money!

I love my girls (yes, you ladies!) and they often paid for my drinks but I can’t let them do that all the time. Really, I don’t want to take advantage of their kind generous hearts and have them thinks “Dude, she’s like a parasite! We’re buying her drinks all the time”… Girls, I know, I know you are not that shallow but seriously, this is a delicate issue and I love you guys too much! And that’s when I turned them down. So far I’m glad they know the real reasons behind why my dancing shoes has been tucked collecting dust on the shelf. They know the financial struggle I’ve been facing lately.

It’s been awhile since the last time I went out on a Girls Night Out. Sure, dancing, a little booze, great time with my girls is so much fun but sadly, can’t do too much of them lately.

There are days where I rushed home to help Lil’ A with his homework and just enough so I can cuddle him before he goes to bed. There are days where I have to stay at work till late and came home exhausted just to find out my boy had fallen asleep. Juggling never been so hard.

Maybe one day, my social life will get better but for now I’m too focused on working and making ends meet and being a single mom. Until then I’m so thankful for the abundant instant messenger applications – keeping in touch are a breeze these days.

How much do you socialize outside of work and being a mom/dad?

8 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Working Mom

Now & Then…Friendships Does Survive

15 Nov posted by

It’s been well over 4 years…

The last time we met, the ex and I were on our way to moved down south to Dothan, AL. We had dinner all four of us on the last night in NY and it was a heavy blizzard on our drive to Alabama the next day. They saw us drove away from our driveway…they waved us goodbye.

Last time we met in Upstate NY

We first met through the Indonesian community group in Upstate NY. We were drawn by the similarities and the fact that there wasn’t many mix couple there at the time. We became fast friends, they were our first ‘couple friends’.

She got me my first job in the US, we would giggle like two school girls almost daily. Her silly husband made friend with the ex. They were buddies, the two men. We were both still newlyweds when we first met. Young and full of hopes.

The friendships grow even after the move down south and stretched all the way across the pond to China and now Indonesia.

So it was bitter sweet to finally meet her, her husband again yesterday. Sweet because I have truly missed her, sweet because we got to see each others babies who were born long after we last met. Bitter because here’s a couple that used to be ‘our friend’…and now I’m no longer part of a couple.

It felt almost awkward at first…but it didn’t last long. We talked, we laughed, her husband said funny things, just like in the old days…except this time, I’m their nearly single friend and I no longer had my happily ever after.

Good to know that what happened didn’t severe our friendships, her husband shared his own divorce story way back when his daughter was only 3.5 years old. Seeing her now a well rounded beautiful young lady, gives me hope that Lil’ A will grow up just fine. He assured me that he will, with all the love he’s surrounded with.

Until we meet again, friends…

9 Comments
Filed Under: Divorce

10 Things I Like Plus Some Awards

4 Nov posted by
onelovelyblog

Juggling a new tittle as a working mom, dealing with a toddler who’s slowly getting used to our new routine, blogsphere seems like a far away world lately.

I miss it terribly!

And I’m missing the daily interactions with my bloggy friends – old and new.

Lish from A Beautiful Mess gave me this award awhile ago. Thank you, girl! She’s an awesome blogger/photographer if you haven’t heard of her, please do pay her blog a visit.

Sweet Amanda from Home Age also gave me a Versatile Blogger award. She’s such a sweetheart! Thanks, Amanda!

Over at After Bedtime Blog, Vanita gave me an Awesome Blogger award. What a sweet surprise. Thanks again, Mama!

Now here are the ‘rules’ to disclose 10 things me likey in randomly order:

  1. I love err like and miss Coffee Mate French Vanilla Creamer. They don’t have them here and I miss them oh.a.lot!
  2. Vanilla scents. From body sprays, scented candles to ice-creams.
  3. The calmness of early morning, sipping my first cup of coffee and just savoring the only me-time I have during my now busy day. Now have you figured why I’d rather wake up at 4 am everyday?
  4. The jolt of excitements when I’m flying in an airplane – big or small – what can I say, I’m just a sucker for traveling.
  5. The smell and softness of freshly washed bed sheets.
  6. Lil’ A’s “What’s so funny, Mommy?” every time he hears us adults laughing out loud.
  7. How the boy tried so hard to glare his eyes out – poor thing just can’t do it and it only makes him look even more adorably cute.
  8. My bloggy friends…you are all meant so much to me and me love you long time!
  9. Checking out the pictures that I took – albeit the painfully time consuming post-processing – I still squeals when I got some unexpectedly good shots.
  10. My hair spa! Gotta love my two hours of pure relaxations for a mere 5 bucks! Speaking of…I need one badly.

Now, let me pass along these awards to 10 other rocking bloggers who I’m proud to call friends:

  • Maryline over at Franco American Dream – my soul sistah whom I love!
  • MamaOnDaGo – sweet lady who let me guess post last week. She’s a working mom of two and pure joy to be friends with!
  • Sweet wise and did I say sweet? Jane from Life @ Number 8. We chatted a lot through twitter and I adore her!
  • Booyah’s Mama – this girl can writes and crack you up with her witty play of words. I heart her and her blog for sure! Her writing skills are something to die for!
  • Another hot mama in bloggy world who crunchly writes about motherhood and life in general, Veronica of Crunchy VT Mommy is not only beautiful. She’s smart, sharp and oh such fun to know of.
  • Big Teeth & Cloud’s owner – Joey. She too is a talented writer, I just love how she can take  you into her life with mere words and laugh with her.
  • An attorney and freelance writer, L.Eleana J from A Writer’s Den is fantabulous with her words! That’s for sure.
  • The amazing Mrs. Mayhem! Love this lady! Not only she writes beautifully with her heart but she takes killer photos.
  • Ecky from Cisayong Girl is leading a new life as a diplomat wife full of adventure in an exotic place called Pohnpei somewhere in Micronesia.
  • Maria of Tough Cookie Mom – such a sweet sweet lady. Again, we twitted back and forth together but I adore her!
  • My dear friend, Esti over at EstiMiguelAriel she makes dangerously delicious cupcakes, takes awesome pictures and blog about their adventures living in Bangkok.
  • Last but not least, have you met Jessica from Mommyhood Next Right she writes with a passion that comes from her heart and soul about motherhood.

Don’t forget to tell them I send you there if you stop-by their bloggy homes. :D

Later, friends!

20 Comments
Filed Under: Fun things

When Indonesian & French Collided

7 Oct posted by

It was a cool autumn day. The trees are changing colors and the humidity is pretty much gone.

Two women sitting in a café, one with a cappuccino and the other with an espresso although she doesn’t really drink coffee, she was kind enough to meet up for coffee.

Coffee friends
Creative Commons Licensephoto credit: namuit

They had ‘met’ online and bonded really well with similarities that drew them together. Such as being immigrants to the US of A, being married to Americans, both have boys, and most of all, both loves blogging. One is a French born and one is Indonesian,  it didn’t take long for the friendship to grow.

“So tell me, did you ever get that famous culture shock moments when you first got here?” asked the Indonesian girl.

Maryline drew a smile, her mind wondering back to some years ago “You bet! I remember the overwhelming sensation of wide open space, a different relationship to distances, and the blatant demonstration of bigger is better. Gigantic soul-less shopping centers with the largest parking lots I have ever seen. 6 or 7-lane highways with cars competing for the most wheels you can have, the most leg room and the largest cargo space.”

“Oh yeah…I know what you means!” they both smiled in agreements only immigrants can understands.

Maryline continues, “It was physically and emotionally overwhelming. I was missing the quaint towns, the proximity of things that belong together (and have for centuries!), the feeling of warmth and having-your-things together when you can easily wrap your arms around them. We have a French saying that says “The smaller, the cuter” (Plus c’est petit, plus c’est mignon). There is some truth to that!”

They went on to talk about this. Comparing how things are between the great US of A and their own home countries. There are of course things that they both miss but they also love their adopted country.

“Hey, is that true that French language is the sexiest in the world? Well, I have friends who thinks that’s true!” asked Maureen, remembering her college friends and how eager they were in learning how to say I love you and I miss you perfectly in French.

The French beauty threw her head back and started to laugh before continuing “It is?? I had no idea! I thought Spanish was, especially Spanish from Spain. Muy caliente!” More laugther from both.

The chit-chat turns into the blogsphere and their love for it. Maryline’s blog although still in infancy has grown so much in just a mere 3 months. How many blogs can reach that points? It truly is amazing. So Maureen just has to asked her “What’s your secret, girl? Your blog really has taken off in such a short time!”

Again, Maryline laugh – and her laugh is so contagious “My blog has grown a lot? You’re kidding!? I am not sure what you are comparing it to, but in the absolute, yes, it’s grown. More readers, more posts, more subject matters. I think blogging integrity is key. If you say you blog about your life, don’t make it up. I’d also add that consistency is a must have to establish a loyal and coherent readership. If you pick a theme, stick to it. As long as you are honest and genuine, then connections will happen. I enjoy blogging a lot more now that I take more loosely — low stress, yet high expectations but no sweats over stats every day or must-post-daily. Not worth it!

“Surprisingly I can now go an entire day without logging on to Google Analytics! :) ”

Both laughing again “Hah, yeah the Analytics, isn’t it addicting to see those numbers go up? But you’re right I love that…integrity is key!”

Maryline has been writing with just that, integrity and her heart. Her posts are genuine, sometimes comical but maybe that’s how they can get along so well in that small café being that’s the first time these two meet in persons because she’s real. She’s genuine and her writing depicts her personality.

She then shared her most fun and dear posts “The most fun: Because I love lists and this one ought to be viral!! 10 Email Tips to Maximize Counter-Performance We have a tie for the most dear: After the Butterflies Leave and No Domestic Diva.

These two shared their hopes and dreams for their ‘babies’ aka their blogs,  “I hope not hosted by Bluehost anymore. They’ve been very unreliable.” Mutual understanding laughter here “But seriously, I see it being the same, just me. Me and my cultural facts, my silly analogies with marriage and sex, my attempts at staying in shape with running and triathlons, my motherhood testimonials. Maybe with a new design? I would love the help of a designer to personalize my header and develop a color theme. For now, I am just continuing my work with words.”

“Amen, sistah!” Both agree that no matter where their blogs are heading they would stick with being true to their voices.

They switched gears to talk about the inevitable, motherhood, specially mothering mixed culture kids. Maryline has been speaking French exclusively to her son since he was born to maintain the balance of the two influencing cultures. She has a really cute nickname for her boy “Poisson”. Realizing it or not, she’s been doing One Parent One Language method in raising Poisson.

“It’s hard because when other people get involved in our conversations I automatically switch to English. I should make an effort to continue speaking French, so that my husband and friends can also pick up some French :)  Overall it’s working out well because my son and I spend a fair amount of time one one one, and we only speak French then. I only read him French books, and sing French songs. He loves music!

True story for you: we’ve had two different friends who’ve watched Poisson recently as well as our caregiver tell us that they hear a French intonation in his baby speech. I cannot wait for him to talk more!!”

“That’s exciting isn’t? To think that our kiddos will master two languages (if not more) will really benefit them in the long run.”

Again, both nodded and smiled knowingly.

The chats continues, they talked, they laughed and most importantly their friendship grows.

Thanks for being such a wonderful friend, Maryline. I hope one day – we will have a chance to grab those coffees and doing just this!

This has been my week 4 submission for Back 2 School, Back 2 Blogging.

Kludgy Mom

32 Comments
Filed Under: Blogging
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