You are here: Home / Archives for holiday

On Loneliness

15 Dec posted by
Alone

‘Tis the season to be merry…

Not lonely

Yet here I am, typing this with loneliness about to leak from the rim of my sanity.

Just when I thought I’ve already have so much to juggle, such a busy life as a single mom I can’t seem to shake these feelings off. Yes, I am surrounded with my big crazy loving family layered with lots of awesome friends – which I am so thankful for but there’s a suppressed feeling of loneliness that I’ve been shoving aside for ages.

And when it leaks, I am a hot mess!

After rebuilding my life all over again, I’ve been trying so damn hard to stay strong and independent, trying to create positive focuses in my life to lift the spirit. Infidelities really did some damaged on my part that honestly I’m still working on.

So yes, I feel loneliness chewing me inside.

Why Not Dating Again?

 
“You’re still young…there’s still plenty of chances out there for you. Plenty of fish in the sea!” one dear friend encouraged me when I lamented about my bleak dating history.

Plenty of fish in the sea alright! But not in this part of the sea.

Why?

Maybe because I am not like everyone else…well I know I’m not like everyone else but if you should ask me my ‘man-wish-list’ then without being racist or anything I would put Caucasian on my list.  For the past 14 years I haven’t date any Asian men. I did date Indonesian guys before but it didn’t work out, obviously.  Growing up surrounded by Caucasians and from liberal parents also being in the States for awhile, I think I’m more attracted to those who are open minded, self sufficient man who can appreciate an opinionated woman without fears of me stepping on their ego.  Maybe if I meet an Indonesian guy with these traits or have the same experience we’ll be compatible but I haven’t meet one so far. Hmm…I see a future post discussing more about why – maybe one day I will.

Young, nice bloke in Jakarta is a rare breed.

See now why it’s so difficult for me to date here?

Online dating? Meh! I tried that. Doesn’t work for me. I tried one dating service once and guess what all my ‘matches’ are not located anywhere near Jakarta.

I had unfortunately turned into a skeptic when it comes to long distance relationship.

Fighting It No More

 
After my last date – which dated back to six months ago, I decided to step back from the dating world. It’s really exhausting and I feel like my dating skills are rusting. From the ‘why didn’t he call?’ to the many other questions that left me felt too tired to play the field.

Yet at these times of the year when happy faces of whole families being plastered from Christmas cards to Christmasy ads, I can’t restrain these feelings.

I miss being with someone who can see me way pass my boobs size. Seriously, I guess I just miss the companionship of being in a relationship. That’s all and especially around the holidays times.

And I have come to a conclusion that it’s OK to feel this way. That it’s normal. That it just means I’m only human. I just can’t let these loneliness drag me down deeper than it already is. That I should instead enjoy the freedom of being single and continue working on myself first and foremost.

Even when I know I’m not ready for anything serious right now it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to hold my hand other than my 5 years old.

Are you a single mom? How do you deal with loneliness especially around Holidays?

Picture from Dreamstime.
16 Comments
Filed Under: Single Life

On Taking A Break

26 Aug posted by

It’s that time of the year again…where Jakarta’s roads would breathe a little easier as millions of Jakartans went on their yearly exodus to their hometown to celebrate the end of Ramadhan.

Time where we pay our holiday bonuses to almost all the people that works for us.

Time when nearly all domestic helpers/nannies went home to their villages leaving their employers to defend for themselves, myself included.

Lil’ A’s nanny went home yesterday and won’t be back until September 10. Of course I’m a little antsy because of all the stories I’ve heard of domestic helpers/nannies who never return to their employer because they decided to try their luck somewhere else. She said she’ll return and I try to believe her especially since because I know my family and I has treated her well like one of our own.

He loves his nanny and sometimes I do get jealous to see how he would go for her instead of his tired Mommy.

Thankfully, I would start my 30 days break from work tomorrow. Yes, you read that right. It’s not an annual leave or some sorts…its part of the policy at my office before I can become a permanent. The office has actually been pretty lenient about this whole process and the big boss let me picked when I want to take the break.

What’s better than taking it while the nanny went home? Let’s not discuss about the policy too much but I’m happy to be a permanent employee soon after working there for 10 months.

In the long run, career wisely; I would have a more secure position at the company. So I welcome this break wholeheartedly. Plus, it will give me times to catch up on the blogsphere. Of course I would miss my friends and the satisfactory feelings of working but I’m embracing these 30 days as a way to rest my mind, my brain and most importantly to be a full time Mommy again. In a way, it’s such a blessing to be able to stay home, making up for lost times with my boy.

Lil’ A is out of school starting today and won’t be back until September 11 so we will definitely have much more times to spend together.

Maybe I’ll even start on the facelift project for my blog. Been wanting to get a new design but we will see how that goes.

When I told him last night that Mommy will stay home and doesn’t have to go to work for a month, the boy threw his arms around my neck and said “I love you, Mommy” while giving me a kiss.

My heart melts…

Have a nice and peaceful Eid ul-Fitr!

5 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Working Mom

Medan Is NOT The Worst City In The World

27 Jul posted by

P1010611Creative Commons License photo credit: a_rabin

I came to read this article that says Medan (capital of North Sumatra) is the worst city in the world from Twitter. Eyebrows were raised reading it, disturbing but at the end I found myself laughing.

Disturbing, because as much as I have this love-hate affair with my own country, it always pull a few nationalism nerves on me when I read others write badly about Indonesia. Funny, because it sounds like that piece of crap – yes it is crap – article came out of an amateur bitter tourist.

Let’s analyze it a bit, will you.

You’re slim pickin’s for hotels, you don’t seem to boast a single, decent restaurant and from what I’ve heard, you’ve got no real nightlife

Last I heard they do have 5 stars hotels there such as the Marriott. Maybe next time you need to consult Mr. Google or better yet a travel agent! As for nightlife ‘activities’…what kind of nightlife are you expecting? It’s not Jakarta or New York City!

Okay, I admit, there’s a personal element to this. See, I got robbed in one of your hotels.

It wasn’t a very nice hotel. It promotes itself as a four star hotel when in actual fact it’s closer to a two. But that’s fine. I don’t need luxury and it cost less than $100 a night.

Except, in the end, it actually cost a couple of grand. Because while I was out one night scouring the streets for a decent meal – in vain, of course – someone broke into my room and stole a giant wad of company cash from my suitcase.

Okay…number 1 rules of travelers are: NEVER EVER EVER leave your money – especially couple of grand like you said in your hotel room! That’s what the hotel’s safety deposit box at the Front Office is for! Common sense…not that hard. You know you’re staying in an ‘average’ hotel with several grand in your suitcase, isn’t exactly the smartest move! The guy said the hotel doesn’t have safe deposit…well, tough luck then you shouldn’t even stay in that measly hotel in the first place!

Needless to say I moved to a different hotel for my final night. I woke up the next morning in blood-stained sheets. Mozzies never take any interest in me but your Medan mozzies made quite a frenzied exception.

I didn’t get malaria. But I did get spectacularly, violently sick about a week later from an intestinal parasite, which I’m certain I picked up from you, Medan. I just know it.

See the pattern here people…cheap hotels? Wait, maybe all the 5 stars ones were booked? Could possibly be…but intestinal parasite? Maybe this guy just ate something that’s not cooked right or ate street foods that his weak stomach can’t hold. Oh and he said he lives in Jakarta too? Interesting isn’t?

Personally, I haven’t been to Medan but knowing how poorly some of Indonesians infrastructures are outside of Jakarta, it is possible that the roads are bad, their public transportation are inadequate but to call it the worst city in the world? I think that’s a tad too far!

I understand some tourists will have digestive problems when they first got here because let’s face it, in Indonesia hygiene issues are still questionable. You most certainly cannot drink straight out of the tap like in some other countries. That’s why if you consider coming to Indonesia for a visit I strongly advise you to bring some pepto-bismol (or anything like that) and just take it religiously everyday for at least a week and always drinks bottled water and avoid ice in your drinks if you’re in a place where the hygiene may be questionable.

Indonesia is an acquired taste…that’s for sure but when you are a tourist, try to explore the country with an open mind. Keep in mind that Indonesia is still a developing country and also a country with such vast cultures so chances are things will be different than back home.

Granted, I haven’t seen all the cities in the world but Medan is certainly not the worst one.

Do you have any bad experience in a city that you considered calling them the worst city in the world? Share away.

31 Comments
Filed Under: Indonesia

About Our Short Visit To Singapore

9 Jun posted by
Singapore Flyer

All of these times Singapore has only been a transit spot for me, meaning I (or we) would fly there, stay at the airport then hopped into another flight out so I never really get a chance to explore the city before.

We left Jakarta with the first flight out at 7AM that meant we left to the airport at 4AM. That’s one thing I hate about early flight but Lil’ A was excited and super giddy!

Tickets were taken care of by DH as we flew with the airline he’s working for and our hotel in Singapore was taken care of by my brother who’s working for Marriott Hotel and have employee’s discounts for the rooms! Double advantages I should say.

The waiting line at immigration in Singapore was pretty long we had to wait for over 30 minutes and being as excited as he was and since he’s been up since 4AM, Lil’ A was all over the place – I wouldn’t call it hyper – but he just gets that way when he’s tired, instead of being quiet he’ll act as if he’s an energizer bunny on steroid! He was a handful to put it mildly! So when this older guy standing behind me started making comments about him and even took the time to diagnosed Lil’ A as a boy who have autism just like his grandson, I started to get annoyed.

Between stopping Lil’ A from hopping straight up to the front of the line and holding both our passports with another hand plus a heavy camera backpack strapped to my back, I just smiled and told the guy “No, he doesn’t have autism, he’s perfectly normal for his age!” the guy persisted that there is indeed something wrong with Lil’ A. Finally, between annoyed and tired – mind you I only slept for less than 4 hours the night before – I look at the guy straight in his eyes and asked him “Are you a doctor, Sir?” he replied “No…” and I snapped “Then please do not play one and diagnose my perfectly healthy son! Thank you very much!” and turned my back away from him before I said something rude. Seesh, some people!

After being a mommy to Lil’ A for almost 4 years now, I know him too well that’s just how he gets when he’s overtired. Sure enough by the time we hopped into a taxi on our way to the hotel he fell asleep!

Our room was great, located right on the heart of Orchard Road; it’s facing the big Ion Mall and within a walking distance to many shopping places there.

Been awhile since I heard the Singlish (Singapore English) accent and I always find it amusing to hear them.

Lil’ A was almost fully charged with energy by the time we got to the room that he refused to take a nap. So we strolled to a nearby Far East Plaza before crossing over to the other side of Orchard Rd. for lunch.

Singapore has a very different dynamic than Jakarta and I especially love how clean and orderly the city is. Everyone just very discipline! They even form a line inside the public restrooms! Although the island is small but they seems to make the most out of it and there are plenty of green lush parks and trees everywhere, not to mention the wide sidewalks on every street!

We went to ride the Singapore Flyer that afternoon, at first we wish to catch the sunset but we got there early and turned out the sun didn’t sent until after 7PM! We had a blast anyway. I had bought the tickets online the night before so we just went straight up then they took our picture in front of a green background & the added the background later. After picture we went up again to ‘board’ the capsule. Here’s how the picture looks like, pretty neat.

After the ride you can pick up that picture they took of you for SGD $18, our picture looks pretty cool with it’s own holder!

Not long after we got off the Flyer, Lil’ A fell asleep. Poor boy was so wiped out, he didn’t even wake up and slept for 14 hours straight! Heaven but I had to stay in the room with him while everyone went out for dinner that night LOL.

On our second day is the big day for Lil’ A as he got to go see The Wiggles live in concert.

We got back to the hotel around 5PM and just went out for dinner nearby.

As much as I love my family and enjoyed going on a vacation with them, I wish they have more adventurous side on them! That’s when I miss my DH so much! We both doesn’t really like malls and would rather explore the city, trying their street foods!

I had even asked the concierge guy where is the nearest street hawker place from our hotel and he said Newton Place. When I offer my family this idea they quickly shoot it down! Sigh!

Jakarta is already packed with malls and high end ones too so I’m so not interested in seeing them in Singapore because really there’s not much difference! But I can’t just go out on my own and leaving Lil’ A behind so I had to forget about going to Little India and so on!

On the third day, Sunday, we went to Universal Studio and that took all day. With my mom who can’t walk too much, it totally tired her out so we failed to go Marina Bay to check out the famous Merlion statue.

For our last day there – Monday, we didn’t do much. We checked out from the hotel at around 10AM and left our bags at the concierge and just stroll around Orchard Road again before heading to the airport for our flight back home.

I keep telling myself the trip is mainly for Lil’ A and his Wiggles obsession so when DH said he will have an audit trip there sometimes soon I quickly asked if Lil’ A and I can tag along. :D

11 Comments
Filed Under: Travel

Makassar – Revisited

15 Feb posted by
Seafood galore

Knowing that I was born and still have families in Makassar, South Sulawesi, Mr. X decided to took us along with him for one of the outstation audit program. Since my mom and bothers couldn’t make it, I took my aunt with us.

We suppose to leave Jakarta at 4:30 PM but around 10:00 AM, Mr. X called and told me an accident had happened with one of their fleet so he will have to stay behind and took care of things but he will try to hop on the last flight to Makassar that night or the first flight out in the morning. Thanks God my aunt was there! Our flight was delayed for almost an hour and it’s really hard keeping a plane crazed little boy to stay put at the gate. I was in a bit of a foul mood after knowing Mr. X can’t come with us and I was worried that he won’t be able to make it after all, so when a guy cut me right in front of the cashier in a small café I really can’t help but asking him “Are you in a hurry, Sir?” he looked puzzled and said “No…” then I snapped at him “Then why are you cutting me off? I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m waiting in line here before you came out of nowhere?!!!” Gosh, I hate people like this and I don’t care if you’re way older than me, if you can’t wait in line and cut me off I’ll voice my objections! Same thing happened when we were called for boarding, my Aunt was holding Little A’ when a woman just cut right in front of her and pushed them aside. “Hey! Pushing your way to the plane won’t make you get to Makassar any faster, won’t it????!!!” I yelled at that inconsiderate woman! Good Lord!

We had to do a 15 minutes transit in Surabaya. I never been to Surabaya’s Adiscipto airport before, but OMG that place was filthy! I mean FILTHY with garbage cans overflows and scattered garbage on the floor of their waiting area. We reached Sultan Hasanuddin Airport in Makassar after 9:00 PM local time. Someone from the airline was already there at the bottom stairs to pick us up. He handed our luggage tags to another guy and we were ushered inside the arrival terminal where my Aunt Jane, her husband Uncle Ferdy and their daughter Ella greeted us. I was impressed with the new airport, it was modern and big.

After the staff collected our entire luggage, we parted ways with my Aunts. They went to go get dinner then meet me back at the hotel. The staffs drove me and Lil’ A to the hotel, I wasn’t familiar with the roads anymore but I was flabbergasted when we got off the new toll road and passed rows after rows of pubs and clubs with so many ‘chicks’ looking for their ‘job’. Too bad I couldn’t reach my camera from my bag since Lil’ A fell asleep on my lap. Never seen a red light district in Makassar before but then again I haven’t been there for ages.

The staffs took us to Sahid Hotel, it’s an old hotel but it looks pretty nice on the outside and their lobby. Check-in was a breeze but I was greeted by an unpleasant smells when we stepped out of the elevator on the 4th floor. The room smells like old closet that you haven’t open in years! Since Little A and I were obviously too tired after the trip, I didn’t even bother to take any pictures or ask for another room, heck we didn’t even take a shower as tired as we were. The carpet was so dirty (proof showing on Lil’ A’s feet!), the bathroom smells so old and rusty. I couldn’t really sleep that night because the smell was strong but Lil’ A slept the whole night through. In the morning, I found out that the hot water is not running and the old tub was clogged. “We are doing some maintenance work, Ma’am.” explained the receptionist when I called downstairs. Mr. X couldn’t make it that night so I messaged him and told him I want to move to another hotel. So I spent the early part of that morning looking for a new hotel and most of them are full considering it was the weekend and with Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day fell on the same day, I guess most of the hotels are only selling twin rooms. (I should know since I was once a reservationist in a hotel!)

Around 11:00 PM I found a hotel, Mercure’s Royal Regency Hotel and we quickly checked out and I briefly called the station Manager there to informed him of my decision to move. I explained to him, I don’t mind if the room doesn’t have internet access or other little things and it’s not that I want a 5 stars hotel (although I wouldn’t refuse it either!) but if they don’t even have any hot water, I’m out! Lil’ A likes his warm bath/showers. He apologized and asked if we needed a ride to the new hotel and when I told him no thank you, my uncle will take us there he said he will personally drive Mr. X to the new hotel.

Mr. X didn’t showed up to the new hotel until after 2:00 PM. Then we all went out for a late lunch, the best Coto Makassar in town! A driver picked Mr. X up back at the hotel at around 5:00 PM; it is after all a business trip. After Mr. X left back for work, the rest of us went to the nursing home to visit my Grandmother.

From the nursing home, we all went to my other Grandmother’s house, which is now owned by Aunt Jane and her family. There, I got to meet some old childhood friends, I had spent 1 year living in Makassar to finish elementary school before we moved to Borneo. It’s quite amusing to watch Little A ran around with the other kids, on the very same little street where I used to do the same thing many years ago.

When we returned to the hotel, Mr. X was already there and he was done with his audit but he still have to do some more work on the phone and computer. We decided not to go out for dinner with the family because Little A was already so tired from the long day. After he fell asleep, I decided to ventured out and find us some late dinner. Took a becak ride down to the beach side, an area called Pantai Losari. The place had changed a lot and all the street food sellers that used to line up the beach side has been temporarily moved to one spot while the government is building a manmade island to place them in the future. All these information came from the becak driver who happily fills me in on how much the area had changed.

On Sunday, our last day in Makassar, after we checked out and left all our stuffs at the concierge, we went out to find some food & souvenirs but unfortunately because it was the Chinese New Year’s most stores and restaurants were closed. My Aunt Jane teased us that we couldn’t picked the worst timing to come there! Fortunately, we did found one souvenirs store that’s open. Boy, Mr. X went overboard with the stuffs there! Too bad we couldn’t bring home the famous pork bakpao (Chinese buns) or the delicious Makassar’s fried noodles. Mr. X asked if we could eat seafood so Uncle Ferdy took us to this seafood restaurant, I forgot the name of the area. That place was packed! It’s two stories and seems like since most restaurants were closed, people went there instead. The seafood’s were fantastic and super fresh!

We stopped by at the nursing home after lunch so I can see Grandma one last time before we left and to introduce Mr. X to her, they never met before. From there we found Pisang Epe (grilled press banana served with durian and brown sugar sauce) seller on the side of a road and we ordered some to bring back to Jakarta. At 3:30 PM a driver from the office were already waiting at the hotel to take us to the airport to catch our 5:25 PM flight. We said goodbye to Aunt Jane, Uncle Ferdy and Ella.

By the time we reached the airport, it was raining so hard you could barely see the road. Oh and since they changed our flights to the later time, we doesn’t have any tickets whatsoever, fortunately Mr. X’s badges works like charm! We checked in, and went upstairs.

The new airport kind of remind me of the Baiyun airport in Guangzhou, China, and I like the new design, way better than how it used to be. The bathrooms were pretty decent and clean. Unfortunately, I saw some spots where it leaks! I was told that they built the airport in such a hurry to finish it up alongside the new toll road that connects it to the city. Things were a little chaotic by the designated Gate for our flight because the passengers were not allowed to go inside. Some people were already complaining and the flight was obviously delayed again. Mr. X immediately got busy. I can’t write too much about that here but let’s just say that I too gave a piece of my mind to one of the airline’s staff.

Our flight finally left for Jakarta after 6:00 PM. An hour delay! A weekend is definitely not enough to enjoy Makassar!

5 Comments
Filed Under: Indonesia, Photoblog, Travel

Happy Eid

19 Sep posted by
Ketupat

Ketupat

 

Eid ul-Fitr (Idul Fitri/Lebaran in Indonesian language) always brought so many beautiful childhood memories for me even when I’m not a Muslim. Growing up mainly in two small towns tucked in eastern parts of Indonesia that some never even heard before, Idul Fitri was special day celebrated not only by the Muslim but by everyone in the neighborhoods. It’s a vice versa tradition for Christmas too.

I still remember how my mother will be so busy in the kitchen days before the big day arrives. She’ll bake her signature famous pumpkin cake (and some other stuff that I can’t really remember now) and usually I was the delivery girl. Oh, how I love the smell of that pumpkin cake and how it filled up the whole house. Too bad she never make them anymore (winking at her if she reads this!).

On the big Day, usually around noon we would all get dress in our Sunday Best and starts our Idul Fitri ‘touring’ as what our little family used to called it. It will start with the closest neighbors’ house. Besides the obvious abundance of cookies, we will be having a huge feast of Idul Fitri’s signature dishes such as opor ayam (braised chicken in rich coconut milk), ketupat (rice cakes wraps in coconut leaves), rendang, and many more. We would all be stuffed only after a few houses LOL. This continues on the second day of Idul Fitri. Besides the countless lunches and dinners, our neighbors would also send those foods to our house. Likewise, on Christmas day, we will have our friendly neighbors over and they will be sending cookies, cakes, & foods as well.

Here in the big city of Jakarta, this kind of traditions has been disappearing for years now. Individuality is much higher so it’s not a surprising thing if neighbors barely know one another. The first time I moved to Jakarta, I was surprised by this during Idul Fitri and my kind aunt had to explain the differences.

Not only that I am missing those foods but I’m missing the familiarity of small town neighborhood, how everyone was like families not just some strangers you smiled at through your high fences. We Indonesians did shows a very high religious tolerance especially in small towns where neighbors has become like your own family. I hope in many small towns, they still preserve  and cherish these traditions for many more years to come.

Have a blessed Idul Fitri, everyone!

PS: Photo from Wikipedia.

Leave a Comment
Filed Under: Indonesia, Musings