Who knew Kindergarten zone can literally looks like High School arena but this times, instead of the Popular Girls VS the Plain Janes…it’s the Socialite Wannabe Moms VS the Single Mom(s).
New school means new territory not just for the boy but also his Mommy. Boy learns to socialize which is great and I got to see how different socializing with other moms in school can get.
Thus the High School feelings…
The first time I ‘mingle’ with the other parents in school I bet they think I was one of the many nannies/maids waiting outside the school because I was in jeans + shirt, hair pulled up, not much make-ups, fanning myself because it was super hot outside while these flawless looking moms sports a perfect do with fake lashes that will make any drag queen feels ashamed! Some of the mothers I saw in school were… how can I put it mildly without being torch down…very upscale, very posh! Don’t even let me get started on the nasty looking hair extensions!
The second time was during the parents’ orientation. I have met a nice lady – who looks normal. Normal as in not over the top, doesn’t look like a living breathing walking billboard for designer brands. After that meeting, I was asked to join the parents group on Blackberry. Hesitantly, I gave this lady my Blackberry PIN so she can invite me to the group.
Not only that, I was asked to join the mom’s Arisan (loosely translated – a social gathering where all members collect & pool certain amount of money then later a draw will be taken and someone will win the ‘lottery’). Which I politely declined because other than the obvious, it’s just not my style.
Working full time, I have almost little to none time to socialize. I barely even have time to catch up with my girlfriends lately let alone spending an afternoon doing Arisan? Just not my cup of joe.
Seeing my boy, they know he’s a product of a mix marriage. I don’t disclose my status to any of them – the school knows of course – but I don’t just say “Hey, I’m Maureen. Nice to meet you. Btw, I’m a single mom!” to the other moms.
My status was finally being brought out from one incident…
Lebaran (Eid-ul Fitri) is coming at the end of this month. It is a custom in Indonesia to give our THR (loosely translated: holiday bonus). Employees at work get them (accordingly based on their religious beliefs), domestic helpers get one, and so on…it’s usually equal to one month’s salary.
This month I have to prepare the THR for my nanny despite the fact that I will be out of work for a whole month – starting the end of this month, not having any income. Financially, I am struggling to make ends meets! Life isn’t glamorous for this single mama!
So after I politely declined to participate in collecting THR money for the school and I’m still being called out for, is just outrageous and I have the rights to be pissed!
Listen, ladies…don’t bother put “v-o-l-u-n-t-a-r-i-l-y” on your letter if you are bound to talk about me behind my back because I chose not to participate! Don’t tell me that I should afford Rp. 25,000!
Oh I can already see them sitting in their high thrones and say something like this “Jeng, jeng…tau nggak sih mamanya A. Masak sih suaminya/mantannya bule kok bayar THR aja nggak sanggup?” (Ladies, do you know A’s mom. How can she not afford THR when her husband/ex husband is a white guy?)
Then to use sarcasm status on your Blackberry Messenger is so tacky! If you don’t like me…here’s an invitation to openly say it to my face!
I finally drop the “I’m a single mom” card – which I hate using because it makes me feel like I’m looking for a pity excuse from them.
I strongly believe that my son have his own blessings, I am a living proof that God is a good provider but manna doesn’t fall from the sky for me! Had to bust my ass working hard to be the sole bread winner. Just because the ex husband is a white guy it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to work and he provides us with lots of cash! It’s the opposite… I proudly say that I have managed to come this far with very little child support from Mr. X – that barely covers for school – oh and by the way he was out of work for months so I had to foot the bills!
Managing a tight budget is not easy but someone’s gotta do it to keep this ship running. I can do without lots of things in my life as long as I can provide for my boy.
So dear Desperate Housewives Socialite Wannabe of Jakarta….before you gossip about me. Try to walk a mile in my shoes, will you? Not everyone can sit on their asses and gossips all day, not everyone has money like they grow on trees! Some people, like single moms have to do what a unite family must do ALONE! Have you ever heard of the famous quote from Plato: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Try to digest that a little.
Luckily, not all these moms are like them gossip queens. Last night one of the moms actually came to my rescue because I had no idea the school sell a t-shirt for our kiddos and they suppose to wear one for their Field Trip today! Fail Mom moment for sure! A lady, kindly offered to bring an extra t-shirt she have for my boy. This gesture really was so sweet and touched my heart! Thank you!
There bitches, go and talk till you are blue in the face. I’m done!
