toddler — Tatter Scoops

The Poet, The Joker, The Smarty-Pants & The NatGeo Junky

12 Jan posted by Maureen

Being a mother to 5 years old boy surely has been interesting and fun so far.

My Boy The Poet

Who knew turning 5 will bring out the hidden poet inside my boy. Every night now before bed he would come up with the sweetest words when we cuddle that just makes my heart swollen with love.

“I will give you a hundred, thousand, million hearts, Mommy”

“I love you so much, Mommy. Ever after!” add a big squishy hug and kisses then you can see me melting in those little hands.

First of all, I have no idea where he picked up the Ever After line. Could it be Happily Ever After? Doesn’t really matter where it came from does it?

“Mommy, I love you to the stars of forever!”

I swear sometimes he just sees right through me especially when I’m feeling rotten inside and with just a few lines and lots of kisses from him my boo-boo has been kissed.

Meet The Joker

Oh he can be quite a joker too and it goes something like this:

Boy: “I will give Mommy so much money.”

Mommy: “Aww…that’s very sweet of you but you don’t need to do that, okay?”

Boy: “Yes, so Mommy can buy me lots of toys!”

Not quite a poet there huh?

Meet Mr. Smarty-Pants

This conversation happened a couple of days ago:

Me: “Alex, it’s bed time.”

Boy: “Ooh maan!”

Me: “Don’t oh man me.”

Boy: “What is don’t oh man me, Mommy?”

Me: “Don’t say oh man me to Mommy.”

He turned to the wall his back facing me then sighing loudly “Ooh maaaan!” then he turned around “See, Mommy I said it to the wall!”

This is a piece of conversation we had last night – setting as usual before bed.

Me: “I love you, Pumpkin…”

Boy: “Why do you call me Pumpkin, Mommy?” (believe me I tried to stop calling him this!)

Me: “Because when you were a baby you were as cute as a little pumpkin.”

Boy: “Oh, just like the pumpkin at the store!” (we went groceries shopping earlier and he actually asked if he could get a small pumpkin)

Me: “Yes, something like that.” Boy was silent so I proceeded “I love you, Baby”

Boy: “Mommy, I am not a baby anymore!”

Mommy: “Okay then, I love you Alexander!”

The NatGeo Junky

A has been into NatGeo channel since before he turned 4 and this continues in his 5 years old stage. He loves Discovery Channels too and some Animal Planet which I’d rather let him watch than the Cartoon Network. (FYI, we don’t have Nick Jr. Channel here in Jakarta *insert sad face*)

Being 5 also opened up the door to a super curiosity level that sometimes Mommy just can’t keep up with all his questions.

He would ask so many questions that watching TV with him now is hard. I know, I know, I should be thankful that this boy is eager to learn, trying to understand how things work. But man, sometimes I just want to watch TV quietly. Hah!

All in all, being 5 is pretty awesome.

If your child is 5 years old what changes do you see in them? Oh and how do you curb the “Whys, hows?” do you explain things thoroughly?

6 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood

Thank Heaven For Little Boy

9 Dec posted by Maureen

My dear dear boy,

Watching you sleep oh so peacefully tonight makes me heart swollen with a love that is bigger than anything I ever known.

I slowly touched your open hand and you clasp my finger tightly as tight as you hold my heart.

Your hair is getting longer and the curls starts to show up again. No matter how unruly they get and how much you hate when Mommy force you to brush those locks, I miss seeing their almost Sherly Temple lookalike curls.

Those legs no longer pack the once yummylicious baby lumps. They are now long, lean and skinny.

Your cheeks have no more chubbiness yet I can still bite on them playfully and kiss them a million times.

The way you say your “Night Night Prayer” out of memory always make me feel so grateful for this greatest gift in my life.

Your cheekiness always warms even the crappiest day of this mother’s day. “Clown of the classroom” is what your teachers told me. The classroom is too quiet without you they said.

Amazing how smart you really are behind all your goofing around – that sometimes frustrate me when we’re doing your homework. I’m biased of course and allowed to be since I am your mother! You’d surprise me by reading “Ben” on TV while I sat there next to you trying so hard to make you read the 3 letters practice book from school.

Your abrupt out of nowhere “Aku sayang Mommy!” (I love Mommy) managed to wipe my tiredness away after a crazy day at the office.

The never ending curiosity you shows daily. From asking what a word means in English or in Indonesian to asking why an engine failed when we watch Air Crash Investigation show on NatGeo – to which I asked you to save that question for Daddy when you’re with him.

I know your questioning will only get longer as you get older and can I freak out now?

Oh what about the way you ‘attack’ Mommy because you want to play roughhousing or just want to tickle me then planted a big giant kiss? No matter how badly my bones are cracking I.love.it!

The concerned look on your face when I tell you Mommy’s not going to work followed by “Will your boss be angry, Mommy?” makes me want to squeeze you tightly so you don’t have to worry too much.

Behind your cheerful happy go lucky self I know there’s an old soul hidden. A soul that is very sensitive. How I wish I could take back that one time right after your Opa (Grandpa) just got home from the hospital and you were just trying to see him closely but your tired Mommy snapped at you panicking you would bump into his bandaged foot. To see you sat there on the stairs with tears silently running down your face broke my heart. You cried in Mommy’s arms and said “Nggak mau Opanya sakit!” (I don’t want Grandpa to be sick). Oh baby….I’m so sorry.

Your stubbornness is quite scary as I see so much of myself in you when that side appears. Sometimes with raised eyebrows I’d asked you “Whose child is this, anyway?” and behind your little smirk you’d say “Anak Mommy!” (Mommy’s child).

I’m still amazed by how you laid out your own rules when it comes to the languages you speak. When you’re home with everyone else you demanded to only speak in Indonesian including to me but when we’re upstairs ready for bed you’d whisper “Mommy, when we’re in our room then we can talk in English.”

Yes, there are moments where you just drive your mother crazy but I think all mother feels that way, right?

Watching you growing up to be a little person that you are today never cease to amaze me. Thank you for showing your Mommy what true love really is all about. Thank you for teaching me to relax and let loose and be silly, to live in the moment to stop worrying too much and just have faith.

I have so many wishes for you my son, it’s wrapped in prayers and being lifted to heaven.

Happy Birthday Alexander. Mommy love you to the moon and back!

12 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood

To (Kind) Strangers

22 Oct posted by Maureen

… who are annoyed by our kids.

I’m so sorry we ruin your dining-out experience with your loved one. It’s just we gotta bring our kids out because noone watches them at home. At this point, we still don’t trust a babysitter to watch them in our house. We’re tired of eating at Chick-fil-A and Applebee’s and now we really want to have good sushi. This fancy restaurant is the only place that serves good sushi in town. I’m not eating sushi from Chinese Buffet restaurant, I’m not. And I’m not taking salmon sashimi home.

I’m so sorry that our kids talk a little louder than they’re supposed to. And one of them climbs out her high-chair, gets to your table, and interrupts your dinner by saying “hi” and acting silly. I train my kids to behave in public, but once in awhile, they fail us, they really do.

I’m so sorry that my kids run around at grocery stores. Because everything looks new to them, everything excites them. But you have to believe me, I try hard for them not bothering anyone. Most of the time they agree to stay in the shopping cart, but after awhile they want to get out and see what’s happening. Bless Basha’s with its supervised play center Cub House. But you cannot expect us to shop there all the time. We need to be pretentious too, we sometimes shop at AJ’s Fine Foods.

But most of all, I’m so very sorry, my kids cried for many-many hours in the plane from LA to Tokyo. I miscalculated, I thought my then 9-months-old twins would make a great international traveler even would have their own frequent flyer card. I’m still traumatized to travel because it was simply painful for me to watch them cry, but it really was unfair for you to experience that too.

As a parent with younger kids, I try to minimize the uncomfortable situation with you strangers, by calculating the feasibility of taking my kids to public place. I discipline them and when they really act out, you bet I would remove them from the venue and take them home. But once in awhile our guard is weaken and unpredictable event becomes unavoidable. There’s always shitty moment, and we beg you to understand.

We parents with younger kids just ask for your kindness, to have a never-ending tolerance for these little people that somehow cross their path with you. I know they are not even yours yet they often step in your comfort zone and ruin your mood. But hey, sometimes in life we have to deal with things that are not pleasant.

And for what it’s worth, we’re all once little kid.

Sincerely,

Uly Siregar
A mother of soon-to-be 5 years old, and 2 years old twins.

This has been a guest post by one of my Indonesian friend/blogger/writer. She’s an awesome writer, her writing has been featured on Indonesian magazines (pssst, she used to have her own sex column). Uly Siregar is a former Indonesian journalist, currently a contributor for a newspaper in Jakarta and a grad student. She lives in a quiet suburb in Arizona with a husband and three little girl. Read more about Uly Siregar and please show her some love.

9 Comments
Filed Under: Guest Post

On Letting Go

25 Jan posted by Maureen

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That day has come…

Where I nervously pack his bag…pick which shirt and short to wear…

The day I was swept by mixture of emotions (maybe) only mothers can truly understands. Part of me is proud seeing this boy embark on a new journey, a huge milestone in his life, thrilled to hear about his adventure in that place. Yet, I was swept away with sadness.

Yes, sadness…

It started a day before, when my parents and I took him to get his hair trimmed. Well, it went on beyond it. We pretty much let his curls got chopped off. Those cute precious soft curls that has been on his tiny head for 2 years!

In an instant…my tot loses his ‘babyish’ look, in an instant I miss those annoying curls.

How is it possible for a four years old to suddenly look all grown up? No one ever warned me about this. He’s my baby…my pumpkin! Yet, he’s no longer a baby. Lil’ A is almost too big to be called Little anymore.

So on that morning when we stepped into a new territory where he will be spending times playing, learning, socializing for the next few years…you could almost see my heart dragging behind my steps.

I had kept him to myself for four years…and now I had to peel myself away from him – at least for a few hours. This was even harder than leaving him when I started working full time.

My worry wart Mommy self kicked in when I saw him crying at first because it’s all new and he wanted his Mommy to stay in his classroom.

“Maybe he’s not ready!” worry wart Mommy chipped in “Let’s just take him home…” she continues to terrorizing me while the try-to-be-wise-Mommy- in me said “Do NOT hover!!! He’s fine!”

Had to fight my tears when I was in the principal’s office, as she must’ve sensed my nervousness and tried to assured me that Lil’ A will be fine.

It was a pure mixed up emotions all rolled into one.

Letting him go into that classroom is like opening the door and setting him out by himself to discover the world for the very first time.

This Mommy definitely needs to toughen up and be on the sideline like any other good mother and not being a helicopter parent.

How was your kid’s first day of school like? But most importantly, how did you handled it?

26 Comments
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood

Weaving Memories

21 Dec posted by Maureen

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…just like the one I used to have…”

Bing Crosby tender voice fills the room…my family’s artificial Christmas tree light up beautifully.

My mind flew those many years ago, not to the first white Christmas in Upstate NY, not to the first snow angel I ever made or how touching real snow felt like.

It went back to the days where my hair was still chopped short like a boy, when climbing trees and racing my little yellow bicycle were my favorite things to do.

On December 24^thusually in the afternoon, you can find little me and my two even smaller brothers out in backyard of our parents’ house pulling out green grass and stuffed them as many as we could into our small shoes.

We would then carefully place them neatly under our parents’ plastic Christmas tree before the three of us went to bed. Excitedly wishing morning will come soon. Oh, the anticipations…I vividly remember them.

Christmas morning come and with our wrinkled pajamas we would all raced to the tree and found the grass gone, one present would sit neatly right next to our shoes.

After church, we would be busy helping our mother welcoming neighbors who will drop by for lunch to celebrate. The parents would be eating, talking and childrens would be running around the backyard playing.

Those were good times…

My childhood Christmas memory wasn’t filled with the different presents we got but instead with that green green grass of home.

This year will be my first Christmas as a solo mom – well last year I was alone with my family thanks to the ex’s job – and honestly, it’s not easy. Sending our Christmas cards and writing my last name in my maiden name was tougher than I though it would be.

To pump up the spirit, I had started a new tradition with Lil’ A…Christmas tree decorating. He had so much fun putting all the plastic ornaments on, albeit it was a bit messy with them mostly hanging on the lower branches but the point is he smiled and laughed a lot.

New memories are being carved…we are weaving memories together…

I believe Christmas goes deeper beyond those colorful ribbons, more than how many presents we receive and those are what I’m trying to pass along to this boy. His family may had been torn but he would feel the love engulfing him.

Just because my parents now doesn’t have a backyard with green grass to run around or pulled out to feed Santa’s reindeer, it doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to weave new Christmas traditions with my 4 years old. I’m sure we’ll be fine; we’ll knit our own traditions along with times.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

What’s your favorite childhood Christmas memories?

17 Comments
Filed Under: Musings

Celebrating Motherhood – The 4th Year

6 Dec posted by Maureen

Here I sit wiping my eyes after replaying the video of Lil’ A’s first entrance into this world. It’s around this time of the year where I got all emotional and mushy inside remembering that one cold day on December 7th.

The day I was so scared to death, the day I plunged into Motherhood in an unexpected way – well sort of unexpectedly – thanks to my severe preeclampsia.

After 4 weeks of being bed ridden, countless of ultrasounds – at least I got to see the little peanut a lot more than most prego mama does – countless of doctor visits. I knew he was supposed to be born early.

Still, I was nervous as hell after my obygyn said we are running out of weeks…he must be born during my 35 weeks visit or I might jeopardize my own life and that baby’s life as my blood pressure kept creeping up to a very dangerously high numbers. The doctor was worried I might get seizure at any rate. Funny enough I was called his magical patient since I had no other symptoms than the obvious super high blood pressure, mild headache and leaking of protein in my urine. There was no swelling at all!

Normal birth was out of the question as the doc explained it would be way too risky.

I nearly had a panic attack!

We haven’t even picked a name yet – yes we discussed some options but nothing was really settled! The crib was still in its box…we had no preemie outfits…the house isn’t thoroughly cleaned to welcome this baby…my dog hasn’t been bathed!

Then threw in those motherly scares of how is he going to be being born 5 weeks early? How am I going to care for such a small baby? What if I dropped him?

No time to find all the answers…5 o’clock PM sharp I was rolled into the operating room. Bent down and had that big giant epidural needle inserted on my back to numb me from the waist down. That alone hurts like hell!

The scare doesn’t stop there. After my obygyn, Dr. Richards said “Are you guys ready?” there was only silence…there was no cries…there was nothing but shoving and pushing on my big tummy. Yes, I can feel them pushing! One nurse rushed to my side – whispered something to the other nurse that watches my oxygen before they started pushing my stomach from my side. I felt nauseous and worry I might threw up.

That was the longest 15 minutes of my life…

What went wrong? What’s going on? Did the nurse supposed to push my stomach from my side? Is my baby OK? Why is he not crying? From all the baby stories I watched on TLC and Discovery channels they suppose to cry!

After what seemed like an eternity that big loud cries finally filled the cold room!

Tears rolled down my face…my arms twitched to hold him…my baby has ‘arrived’.

The good doctor rushed to my side after the nurse whisked Lil’ A to the pediatrician. He explained that Lil’ A turned out to be bigger than he predicted. The incision wasn’t big enough and the way Lil’ A positioned himself caused him to use a vacuum.

The scares didn’t stop there.

Although his APGAR score was excellent and weighing in at 6.5lbs – pretty big for a preemie – he had breathing problems. I just felt cheated when they had to take him to NICU immediately before I could even touch or kiss him.

Wanting to breastfeed, my nurse waited till I can wiggle my toes before telling me to sat up and handed me this ugly looking machine called breast pumps. She said if I don’t pump now my body might think the baby died and dry out my milk supply. So there I leaned on the hospital bed pumping and tried not to cry from the pain.

It wasn’t until after 9PM that night when the nurse pushed my bed to NICU.

That was not how I pictured meeting my baby would be like! Wires sticking on him like he’s a tiny robot. His tiny chest heaving, a little oxygen hood covering his head…it was a scene that simply broke my heart. Not being able to hold him made me felt so helpless. Wish it was me who got poked and prodded, wish I can take his pain away…

All I could do that night after he was born was touching his tiny little hand…whispering “hang in there…baby…Mommy’s here” while my sight got blurred.

Then he opened his little eyes and looked straight at me…he was beautiful, he looks perfect to me. My heart yearns to hold him, to kiss him.

It wasn’t until the third day that I can finally do all that…and it wasn’t until a week after he was born where we both brace the joyride of motherhood and babyhood.

It wasn’t easy…I felt betrayed by that ugly disease, I was depressed but not knowing what the heck was wrong with me.

There were days where I felt like I’ve been robbed from that experience of child birth most moms had but seeing how healthy and smart my little boy is…I would have them cut me open a million times just to have him in my life forever.

His arrival and first few weeks of life might’ve been scary and unplanned for but he was the best gift God has trust me enough with.

Tomorrow, not only I’m celebrating his birthday but also saluting myself for this lifetime journey of motherhood and how I had survived for 4 years long. I may not be the perfect mother, but in my imperfections my love for him will remain through eternity.

Happy 4^th Birthday, Lil’ A…you maybe too big for Mommy to carry you but she will always carry you in her heart forever.