“Do you feel any difference?” asked Mr. X on the morning of my birthday over the phone. “No, not really.” I replied “Should I be?” he just laughed to my respond.
So how do I really feel inside about turning 30? To be completely honest I think it’s a mixture of both anxiousness and calmness. Weird, I know! Blame that on me being a Pisces!
The anxious part already swept me since last month actually. When I went out with my girlfriend I felt like an old lady who got too bored by nightlife actions and the differences between an almost-28-years-old-young-single girl and a housewife/mother-soon-to-be-30 really stood out. Don’t get me wrong, we are still best friends but there are obvious undeniable differences between us now.
Standing with a magnifying glass on my hand, I examined my face (don’t even get me started on the whole body mirror!) and yeah I found much imperfections, although I think women in their 20s feel the same way. We can truly be our own worst critiques! To my horror, some lines are already there, on my face! Now that’s a bit of a shocker, to see lines on your face. Red alert! Have to confess I haven’t particularly pay too much attentions to morning cream this, night cream that, eye cream this and that, etc…etc…for me as long as I washed my face in the morning and at night it should be enough. Apparently not so much! So I made myself some mental note of early ‘intervention’ creams for them, only to forget about it an hour later.
I feel like I’m turning 30 going on 40 and it wasn’t a very good feeling.
Then just as suddenly as those yucky feelings came, it went away. As I close my eyes and reflected on how my life has been in the past decade I can actually smile inside and out then says to myself “What a journey it has been!”
Yes, I might not be as skinny as when I was in my early 20s (believe me loosing weight might be forever stuck on my to-do list!) but if you asked me 10 years ago and told me that I’ll experience living in China I might laugh at your face!
Now I’m actually quite excited about being 30. Now I feel like I had come to some sort of peace with myself with where I am in life. Reflecting on the past decade, I realized how I’ve been blessed in so many ways. Smiling, now I can proudly say that I am wiser than that 20 years old girl I once was and hopefully have more wisdom too.
Hitting the big 30 doesn’t really change my views in life all that much. I still am and will always be a learner in this school of life that sometimes stumble and fall. All those past scars and pain from the past decade had turned me into the person I am today. I learned to see life through different perspectives, I learned about feelings, I learned about appreciating what you have, I learned about the purest form of love is truly belong to a mother and her baby, I learned that dead leaves on the ground can be so much fun.
As I close another decade, I am so eager and ready to experience what this new decade will bring and teach me. So yeah, Happy Big 3-0 to me!
I’m in my early 30s. Ever since the birth of my first child, I have 2, I feel like I aged another decade. At the same time, I feel like I’m living life again through the eyes of my children. So I suppose, I’m back to being someone in my 30s if you average it out.
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